Finding Strength
by Whisper22
Summary: Emily leaves her abusive ex and goes home to ask her SAMCRO family for protection. Slowly she becomes a stronger version of herself and finds the strength to move forward. Question is, will her ex let her?
1. Chapter 1

A/N I do not own/create Sons of Anarchy.

Chapter 1

Gemma Morrow hung up the phone and gazed out the window pensively. She took in the concrete lot and the familiar cuts milling about amongst Harley's and sighed. She rubbed her forehead and worried. She was a mother, it was what she did. But this time it was warranted.

There weren't many founding members left. And most of them had family who either drifted away from the Club or didn't. It was harder on the daughters. The sons of a Son turned out like Jax and Opie. Patching in, dreaming of a cut since they could know what it was. But the girls were harder to fit into the mold. That's why, she assumed, why Goliath's daughter had left Charming to go to College. It was a damn good opportunity in Gemma's opinion. Goliath had founded the Club and his only child had been his daughter Emily. Emily's Mom had raised her as far away from the Club as possible but turned out to be a junkie so Emily was given back to Goliath. Goliath had loved that girl like no other. Gemma had never seen a Father so proud of his daughter the day that Emily got accepted to UCLA. Goliath had died that year and Emily had gone to college and that was the last they had seen of her within the Charming border.

They heard from her. She, Clay, and Piney with Jax and Opie had seen her graduate college and she knew personally that Clay had made sure that she had a little extra cash and a little extra set of eyes on her while she was up there. After college…teaching degree…if Gemma could recollect right she had assumed that she'd come back to Charming. Instead she procured a wealthy young fiance. Another fine opportunity that Gemma couldn't disagree with. They had all made the run down there to see her get married. It seemed to be a fairy tale happy ending for Emily.

At the time.

Anger boiled in Gemma's chest as her mind wandered over the phone conversation she just had with Emily. Emily had always kept in contact with them, always been a part of the family in her distant way. Her Mom was a ditz but Emily took after her old man in that she was sensible and loyal. Gemma never had a daughter, I guess she considered all the girls born into the club daughters in a way. But Emily hadn't had a solid mother around growing up. She had been damn happy to step in for her crank whore mother. And what she had learned…what she suspected made her angry. Iron hot angry, that crackled and sizzled as she waited for when she could take aim and shoot and kill.

Gemma took a drag of her cigarette and went out into the yard.

"Hey Prospect." She ordered. "Go go get Clay and Jax. Tell them to meet in the office. I need to talk them pronto."

The scraggly looking Prospect scrambled to do as she dictated and she shook her head at his blatant tripping. She still wasn't sure how the hell he kept his bike upright.

The prospect in question found Jax and Clay in the Clubhouse with Piney.

"Gemma wants to talk to you Clay…and Jax..both of you. She said to meet her in the office." The Prospect blurted out tripping over a invisible something and landing on his face.

"What about?" Clay asked gruffly.

"I don't know." The Prospect said shoving himself up.

Their beers clinked heavily against the bar as they set them down and headed across the yard to the office. The California heat rested heavily on their leathered shoulders as they quipped about what she had to 'talk' to them about.

The Queen sat in her chair finishing off her smoke when they came inside.

"What's this all about –" Clay started.

"Goliath's kid is coming home." She interrupted.

"Emily?" Jax started with a grin but it faded when he realized that this was news for the entire Club and not just for their ears. "Is she okay?"

"I'm not for sure but I'm guessing not. She called me and said that she was coming in tonight. And wanted to see you two first thing in the morning." She replied. "My guess is it has something to do with that rich husband of hers."

"The rich guy?" Clay said easing onto the desk.

"Yea. I think it ended badly. She sounded pretty shaky when she called." Gemma.

"Where's she staying? Did he hurt her?" Jax spitted out. Jax had grown up with Emily as practically his kid sister. He and Ope had played big brother to her plenty of times. Hell, he and Ope had gotten her drunk her first time. He held her hair as she puked her guts out and cussed them out. Anger couldn't describe what he would feel if it was true, if that asshole had laid hands on her.

"She still got her old man's house." Gemma answered thinking of the crooked little cabin that Goliath had loved so much. It was nestled by their house which was good. "And I'm not sure, she wanted to talk to you both first thing in the morning."

"Well whatever it is…She's family, we take care of family. Right son?" Clay said with finality.

"Absolutely, Pops." Jax agreed. "Whatever is, SAMCRO will take care of it."

The sound of her cell phone ringing sharply and shrilling into the air dragged Emily out of her deep nearly-comatose state of sleep. Then as she moved she froze as dull pain sunk its way into her body once again. Groaning she pulled herself out of her bed and sat there acclimating to the room she had crashed in.

It was her old room with its teddy bears and pictures from high school . A framed picture of her father was by her bedside. She picked it up carefully and cradled it in her hands gently. It had been a long time since she had seen his strong gruff loving face. He had been damn huge, ending up dying of heart complications when she was eighteen. It seemed like yesterdays had been frozen in the room. Nothing had been moved or touched.

A quiet sob escaped her and she cried. Just a little and enough to release the hurt inside of her just a little to get her through today. It would be the hardest today. Coming home, running from a ex with a battered body. It was humiliating and she was so grateful that her Dad wasn't here to see her like this. He wanted to her have a rich full life. He was the reason why she married Jason in the first place. Jason…the name coiled a cringe inside of her and she shuddered.

Emily was a beautiful girl, all though she would never have admitted it. There was much more to beauty than big tits and a nice ass…that's what Gemma Morrow had told her growing up. Emily was blessed with adequate rack and a shapely ass. Her skin was sun-kissed dark which contrasted with her honey colored hair. Her Mama had been Mexican but she took some of her Dad's Irish heritage in her. Her sun-kissed face held brown eyes.

Brown eyes that held a whole lot of pain.

She got up and forced herself to move forward into the day. Showering, taking her pain meds, putting herself together. When she was with Jason she had done certain every day to keep up her appearance as his wife. The circles they had run in were…upscale. She had always blown her hair out straight. But she hated it. Felt stiff after wards and no matter what it ended up curling at the end of the day.

Soft curls and waves sprung around her head and she let it go with relief. No more pressure like that anymore. It was a small comfort in light of the heaviness of everything that lay on her slender shoulders. She was a strong woman. She told herself that as she looked in the mirror and applied light make up. She thought it as a mantra as she covered up her faded bruised eye.

Handprints echoed on Emily's neck, faded but present. No amount of make-up would cover them up. Emily sighed heavily and pulled on jeans that hugged her tight in all the right places. They were her favorite jeans, being worn and faded where she liked them faded but Jason…there were a lot of 'But Jason'…

Emily was never going to let that happen again.

The only thing she could bear on her top half was a loose tunic that hung off her shoulders. Her bruised shoulder showed so prominently that she yanked it off threw on a tank and a loose, light, and long cardigan that had begun to be her favorite as it covered her up pretty damn well. Grabbing her keys and her purse she hurried out of her Daddy's home and forced herself to get into the car.

She could do this.

She could definitely do this.

That's what she told herself as she drove through the achingly familiar streets of her hometown Charming. Half of her was almost painfully relieved to be home, to be where she could be. To just be and to go under and heal. But there was this part of her that was, no matter what, going to be uncomfortable. She'd be naked. It was like she was going home butt-naked like a newborn. With her scars and battered choices open and bleeding in front of everyone.

God, how she had missed everyone. SAMCRO was her father's legacy that he had built and it had never ever struck her down. Every childhood memory had a cut in the background and a comforting roar of a Harley in the distance. Even into adulthood her most pivotal moments…High School Graduation…her father's funeral…College graduation…her…wedding...they had all been lined with the same. Her roots, her foundation, was in SAMCRO. And yes, she was unbelievably broken in ways that she never dreamed of and her heart shuddered at the thought of going home in embarrassment and shame.

Logically, she knew that she was a victim. But she was supposed to be stronger and wiser than to be a battered wife. It wasn't supposed to be this way. She was supposed to come home with a rich happy life surrounding her. Not a broken heart, a battered body, and a soon-to-be ex husband trailing her with violent rage in his plans.

Damn.

This fucking sucked.

As she pulled into the lot of the Teller-Morrow Shop the worry and tension left her as she saw the row of motorcycles and cuts milling about. She smiled, her heart feeling a little fuller than it usually was. Parking Emily stepped out of her car and slammed the door shut. Shading her eyes she looked out at the concrete lot and saw some of the people around looking at her. She saw Opie with his arms around a cute blonde and she saw his Daddy get off of his tricked out motorcycle. She longed to go over there but she had to take care of what came first.

What came first came walking out of the office at that moment.

"Welcome home." She said grabbing Emily up in a fierce welcoming maternal hug. Emily was enveloped in the comforting strong arms that she had missed for a very long time and held on tight for a long steady moment. Feeling stronger, just by looking at the woman who had been a mother to her, she stepped back and looked Gemma in the eyes.

"It's good to be back." She said, her voice slightly scratched with emotion.

Gemma studied her and noticed the covered bruises and the marks on her neck. She lifted up the edge of the sweater that Emily had worn and scowled.

"Don't worry baby girl." She said with surety and holding her tight again. "You're home, we got you now."

Emily nodded, setting her face from the shakiness that she felt from within her.

"They're inside." She informed Emily putting a supportive arm around her waist.

"Did you know?" Emily asked suddenly before they went inside. "When I call, did you know?"

"A mother always knows, baby." Gemma replied rubbing her shoulders with compassion in her eyes. "We'll make that bastard pay. I promise."

They went inside of the office where Clay and Jax were waiting. They had watched through the window at the two women's reunion both noticing the bruises on her neck with anger. But they both hid it so they wouldn't scare her. But looks were exchanged and they knew that this bastard would pay for laying hands on her. It was a rule. No man laid hands on a woman that was connected to the Club. Certainly not the orphaned daughter of a founding member. That was the rule. But was deeper than the rule was the genuine affection and love SAMCRO had for her. She had grown up in SAMCRO just like Jax and Opie. Her father had left the world and they both knew that he knew that SAMCRO would always be there for his one and only kid. There was nothing they wouldn't do for their family, and Emily was family.

She came in and Clay grinned seeing the pretty little girl that his deceased brother had adored. He looked at her and he could still see that pig tailed girl that trailed behind them hanging on her Daddy's hand and tugging their cuts for attention with a toothy smile. In that little girls place was a beautiful young woman with a smile so close to that toothy childish grin he remembered.

"Hey sweetheart." He grinned wider wrapping her up in a bear hug. "Welcome home."

"Thanks Clay." She said softly.

Jax lifted her up and it didn't go unnoticed how small she was in his arms. But despite her size she hugged him back with just about match strength.

They sat down and Gemma settled next to Emily with a supportive smile.

"You coming home. Long over due." Clay said with a grin but it faded away and a far more serious look painted itself onto his features. Jax and his mother shared a look that seemed to communicate Jax's worst fears that Emily had really been broken up into pieces.

"It's good to be home." Emily replied.

"What happened, Emily?" Jax asked gently.

Tears that she refused to let spill pricked her eyes and she gripped her hands in front of her. Willing herself to be strong enough to say it. She had fought so hard and now it was time to fight just a little more. After this she could…let it go…she wouldn't have to fight so hard. All she had to do was say what they already knew.

"Jason and I are getting a divorce. It's been bad for a while but about five months ago he started getting physical. I kicked him out. He said he'd go into therapy so I let him back in. A couple of months ago he hit me again so I moved out and filed. He started stalking me but his baby brother's a cop and his Daddy knows people. I couldn't even get a restraining order. A week and a half ago he found my apartment and attacked me. " Emily's words spun out quietly and surely into the air into the listening ears of Gemma, Clay, and Jax.

Jax tensed at the words and studied his friend closely. Circles he hadn't noticed before danced around her eyes and a sorrow that made his gut wretch together to see in her brown eyes. He remembered taking her out for ice cream when she got dumped by her first boyfriend…Jax also remembered him and Opie finding that ex-boyfriend and scaring him shitless until he apologized to her. He wondered why she left, why she never came back to Charming, all these years away from Charming. But it didn't matter. Everyone left once in a while and she had gone out and what was important was that she came back. She came back when she needed her family. That was what was important to Jax.

Emily took a strong breath and continued. "I came to after and he was gone. Evidence of the attack had been cleaned up. When I called the police they said it was my word against his and his brother said that he was with him getting beers."

"Jesus. Why didn't you call us? We would've had someone out there in a heartbeat, sweetheart." Clay asked.

"I thought I was handling it." Emily confessed. "The attack happened because I got the judge to give me half of the estate. Everything is split fifty-fifty."

Clay gave a low whistle. The last time they checked in on her, that bastard was pulling in a shitload of money and that made her a wealthy woman. At least they wouldn't have to worry about that.

"Does he know you've come home?" Jax asked.

She nodded. "He probably does. If not he'll find out soon. He always knew where I was."

"We'll protect you. Don't worry about that." Clay said. "I'll bring it up in Church but it'll pass. You're family."

Emily nodded with a grateful smile. They all knew that there had never been a question. But the statement relieved her just the same.

"It's good to be home." She repeated with feeling.

"Come on, the guys are gonna want to see ya." Jax said with a grin. "Did ya know that Opie's new wife is a porn star?"

Gemma and Clay watched as the two 'kids' walked into the yard and followed them from a slow distance shaking their heads at the banter that carried back to them.

It was good to be home.

xxxx

Reviews are great, I love the feedback.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N I don't own SoA. Wish I did! I'd get Jax all to myself.

Chapter 2

Church was held that afternoon. Emily had been taken home with Gemma who told her under no circumstances was she to stay in the crappy old house that had been left to her alone. She was going to stay with them until they fixed it up. They went and picked it up her shit and moved her into their spare bedroom. The members crowded around the redwood and talked business. The return of Emily had yet to be discussed and some of them didn't know.

"Last but certainly not least. Goliath's daughter Emily has come home at long last." Clay started. "For some of you newer members who need to brush up on your club history" He looked at the prospects. "Goliath was a founding nine. Emily was his only child and grew up in the SAMCRO world."

"That's great news." Chibs drawled out. "It'll be nice to see the sweetheart."

"I bet she's as hot as her mother." Tig cackled and was shoved by Piney.

"I'm with Chibs but why is this Church talk?" Bobby asked taking a drag of his cigar.

"She's getting a divorce. Asshole got abusive. She threw him out, he started stalking her after she filed. He's got money and connections, old man has friends up high and a little brother whose a cop. She's got awarded half of everything, pissed him off. He roughed her up pretty bad." Clay told his brothers.

"Fuck."

A low rumble of protests circled the redwood.

"So how are we going to teach this scumbag a lesson?" Opie threw out.

"That's what I wanted to –"

"-Now wait." Tig's voice cut through. The man shook his head. "Now I loved Goliath and I hate that his kid got roughed up by her old man but do we want to go off playing bodyguard over it? She's here, she's fine."

"The bastard choked her out, Tig." Jax spit out angrily. "He choked out Emily McConnell…_Goliath's daughter_. We're the only family she has."

"If Goliath was here he'd be calling for blood." Piney rasped with surety.

Tig held up his hands and shook his head. "Hey, I want to protect her. But I just don't see why we should go out and initiate. What we gonna do? Go all the way to LA and beat up some rich pussybeater? If he comes here, I'll be the first one to land a blow to the fucker."

The instinct to teach a lesson, to land blows and the logic warred with each other in the group. But each brother knew that the logic was going to win, was the right path.

"We're do it Tig's way." Clay said with finality banging the gavel. "Family dinner tonight. Gemma's off the wall that Goliath's kid is back, be prepared for the whole damn ten yards."

xxxxxxx

Emily sat on the couch in Clay and Gemma's house with a cup of coffee. She and Gemma were gossiping but her mind kept wandering. She had the worst time concentrating lately. It was the stress, but she figured she'd be able to focus after coming home. Instead she found that it kept jumping back and forth like a bunny on crack.

"Where's your mind at, baby girl?" Gemma asked.

The woman shook her head and shoved her hair back behind her ears. "I don't know. I can't seem to relax. I keep feeling like Jason is going to come at me."

"It'll get better." Gemma reassured. "You came back at a good time…well…anytime is a good time to come home. You should've come home sooner though. If a man ever hits you again baby girl you shoot him and then call the Club. You hear?"

She nodded with a smile. "Okay."

"Now, you look hungry. I'm gonna fix you your favorite for dinner. Opie's wife and Tara are coming over to help out and then the rest of the boys. A quiet family dinner is exactly what you need."

Emily sat in her designated room and felt aware of her surroundings. She ruffled her honey-colored hair and rifled through her purse until she found what she was looking for. A pocket knife that she slipped into her pocket. It was the one her Daddy had given her, it had a reaper on it. She never left home without it and hated to even have it off her body. She examined herself in the mirror and lifted her shirt.

Her stomach was mottled with bruises, painted blues and greens and purples and blacks. But behind it, prominently was the crow tattoo she had gotten when she was seventeen. Her Daddy had been so proud. She fingered it, saying a prayer for Goliath. He had been a good father.

Emily felt strung out half the time with out him. Everything she had done right. She had done everything by the books after he died. She went to college, married the nice rich college sweetheart, worked and was the perfect wife. Where had it gotten her? Anger boiled in her as a wave of shame enveloped her. She was ashamed that she had gotten herself in a situation. Especially her. Emily loved her childhood, she loved SAMCRO, she loved her father. Why hadn't she come back home?

Because she was lost.

When she moved away from Charming she started losing herself. She lost herself in college. She lost herself with Jason. Unbelievably lost and poisoned by the mainstreamed world. So much so that she couldn't breathe at night beside her husband. And that was before he started smacking her.

Emily slammed her palm against the dresser furiously.

No way.

Not again.

Emily vowed to herself that she would not lose herself again.

"I got a present for you." Gemma sounded behind her. Emily turned to see her surrogate-mother holding a gun. The woman handed it to her.

"How does it feel?"

"Good." Emily replied.

"It's safe, no numbers." She explained.

"Thanks." Emily replied gratefully.

The gun was put in her purse with a promise from Gemma that she'd help her brush up later on that week. Emily followed her downstairs and watched as she went around the kitchen. She wasn't allowed to do much, she needed to rest. Or so Gemma told her. It grated on her, not doing anything. Her mind and body kept telling her to keep busy, to do something. But try telling that to Gemma Teller, she thought ruefully. When Gemma said sit, you sat. And so she did and caught up on the gossip and the Club news. She held secrets already from when she was a teenager, things that no teenager should ever have to know but did anyway. She knew how to bartend by the time she was thirteen.

The old ladies got there early. Tara brought a medical bag and examined her and handed her some better pain killers than the generic ones she had been taking. Opie's wife was a sweetie, and a hot sweetie at that. A relief that she forgot existed settled on her skin as Emily laughed openly and joked without fear of what she was saying. It was okay to be real with these women. They were from the same place, she didn't have to worry about offending or being polite. She was…just herself.

No one stared at her bruises or asked in hushed voices what had happened. It was accepted. She was accepted. And they moved on. If she didn't hurt every time she moved she would have forgotten she had marks on her at all from her ex-husband.

The others started filing in for supper, with hugs and words of welcome and support for Emily.

"Aw, welcome home sweetheart." Bobby said giving her a careful embrace. The rest of them filed giving her hugs. She was introduced to the others that had patched in after she had been in town last.

Tig studied the woman across from him and shook his head to himself. A looker, just like her mother had been. Her brown eyes met his across the way and he gave her a friendly smile. He remembered her when she was a kid, following her Dad around like a puppy. Actually if he remembered correctly she thought she was a dog when she was three. He vaguely remembered trying to get her to eat dog food but getting caught and getting pummeled by Goliath. The woman in front of him was a far cry from that little girl.

The brothers studied her, each in their own way. They weren't used to a woman around in their family like her. A daughter of one of the founding nine. It held weight in their world, a heavy responsibility fell on their shoulders to honor their fallen brother's memory in protecting her. For those who remembered, they knew what this girl meant to Goliath. He had lived for the club and the only thing that came close to his love for his brothers was his daughter. Goliath adored the ground she walked on. Hell, he carried a picture of her in his wallet and would talk about her to a sweetbutt for hours instead of fucking like a normal human being.

Emily was just damn happy to be home that for a moment she forgot. For a moment she forgot about her troubles and her heartache and her battered past. She was just…SAMCRO. She was home.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N I don't own Sons of Anarchy. This is for fun, not making any money off of it.

Chapter 3

Emily spent the next few weeks after the dinner acclimating back into Charming. Her money from the divorce came through quickly and she hired out SAMCRO to repair the house she grew up in. She spent her time helping Gemma with the shop and watching kids. She hated being not-busy.

Each day passed and with each day Emily felt a small piece of her past chip away from her and leaving a fresh, more real her. She felt braver with each passing moment and the bruises faded. SAMCRO got used to her being around quickly, even asking her to teach their Prospects to bartend like she did when she was a little girl.

She never straightened her hair, Emily let it be what it was meant to be. A mass of waves and curls that weren't demure at all. No more sweaters or pretty little sundresses or sensible heels. She actually, quite literally, burned that shit and went shopping with Lyla and Tara. Each layer came off until at the end she felt alive again. When Emily moved she felt like it was her body that she was moving, not some strange thing she had been placed in or parts of herself that she didn't know. She felt safe and vital and part of something.

Emily wasn't lost anymore.

"Hey, sweetheart. I need your help tonight." Clay came into the office and closed the door. "We got Club business to settle and we got Tacoma coming down to weigh in. We need a trusty barkeep Prospects aren't there yet, if you know what I mean…are you up to it?"

Emily looked at him for a moment, a little stunned but not angry that he asked. She wasn't sure if she was a good enough barkeep, but if he asked.

"Yea, of course. What time?"

"Midnight." Clay informed studying his niece. When Emily had come home he had been shocked about how much she had changed, even the way she moved was different, but the past week or so he had seen her come back alive. That's why he thought she was ready to do this. Gemma had said it'd be good for her to do this and Clay had to agree. Had to push Emily a little further in SAMCRO, make sure she knew where she belonged. "And thank you, sweetheart."

"No problem. Anything for the Club." She answered.

"You're a good girl." He said, giving her a hug and a kiss. "It's just SoA, no outsiders. It'll be good for the Tacoma Charter to see a Founding Nine's kid on the bar. I bet you'll even see faces you recognize."

That night she looked at her wardrobe and decided that she had to take Lyla shopping again. Only there was no time.

"Need help, darlin'?" Gemma asked.

"Yep." Was Emily's solid reply.

"Put this on. And I'll help you with your makeup."

Gemma had her put on a black lacy bra and matching thong. Then she helped her into a skin tight pair of jeans and a pair black cowgirl boots.

"They're only gonna see your top half, baby. And you want to be comfortable." She supplied.

Emily pulled on a top that let her crow show prominently. A black silk cropped camisole with lace on the plunging neckline. Feather earrings were put in her ears and heavy eyeliner marked her eyes. Her dark honey blonde hair was teased just a little so the beachy waves framed her face and cascaded down her back. Clear gloss was applied carefully to her lips and her trusty pocketknife tucked safely in her back pocket.

"Okay." Gemma said stepping back and tossing her a tight black leather jacket. "I think that's your ride come to get you."

Emily grabbed her bag and went out to meet the cut come to get her. Opie was in the driveway, stalling on his bike.

"Ready?" He asked handing her a helmet. She stuck it on and got on the back, wrapping her arms around his waist and resting her head on Opie's back

He chuckled. "Just like old times."

"Yup." She sounded back remembering all the times she had wrapped her arms around him in her childhood. He was broader, a little harder to grip but still the same. Emily had always felt safe with him.

As soon as they got to the clubhouse she noticed a few more bikes parked next to the usual. Opie put his hand on her back and escorted her inside, tucking her into his side protectively until she was behind the bar. Emily wasn't sure why it was so secretive and important a meeting when it was just SAMCRO but she didn't ask questions. She just got behind the bar and started taking orders.

The Tacoma charter was there and she realized that there was some strangeness between the two charters. Words slipped into her ear about 'rats' and she quickly connected that Tacoma was under suspicion of some things.

No wonder they wanted her and not the Prospects.

Emily smiled pretty and brought orders up for them, letting them compliment her and call her sweetie. Only a couple of the Tacoma men knew exactly who she was. Kozik, a former member of the Charming Charter, knew and told her she was looking good. The others weren't as lucky.

"Now whose Old Lady is this pretty thing?" A rotund Tacoma brother said with an admiring eye.

"Nobodies." Juice replied. "She's Goliath's daughter."

"Takes after her mother." He commented leering a bit at her ass.

"Shit yea." Tig cackled.

"Ya think I can push up on that?" The member slurred, he had gotten drunk a little too early in the night.

The brothers looked at him like he was insane.

"You want to tap a daughter of a founding nine brother?" Juice said. "Because you know, Clay thinks of her as a daughter. I don't think he'd like that."

Emily heard it all and so did Clay. She looked at him and he nodded, silently telling her that no one would push up on her and if they did it was her choice to reciprocate. He felt bad he hadn't said anything like that to her before, but he figured it was a given. He never had to say much with his crew, he certainly didn't think he'd have to say it to Tacoma.

"I'll take a whiskey." A raspy voice spoke into her ear. She nodded and served up Happy.

"Anything else?" She asked with a smile.

He down the shot and his eyes lingered on her cleavage, running his eyes down her body. Emily noticed and willed herself not to blush. His eyes seemed to be the type that bared you naked with one glance. No wonder he always had his arms wrapped around women when she saw him. It would draw any woman to him, like a moth to a flame.

"Maybe later, doll." He said nodding to her and looking out at some of their Tacoma brothers. "Got to keep a clear head tonight."

It was like that for a hour. Tension a bit thick but jokes and brotherly love all around. She kept the alcohol going and took her cues from Clay who kept a eye on her. Jax and Chibs took residence by the bar giving her small talk and keeping her from feeling bored.

At one point Clay motioned her to him. She walked noticing that the eyes of everyone were trained on her in some way or another. What was she, she thought, a peep show?

"Brother, you remember Goliath's daughter Emily." Clay stated snaking his arm around Emily's waist and pulling her to sit down on the arm of his chair next to him. The Tacoma President eyed her and nodded with a smile.

"I remember a kid who looks like her." He grinned. "Good to see you, sweetheart. You've grown up."

"Good to see you too." She replied although Emily couldn't quite recall his face from her childhood. It was hard to get good look at faces hidden behind her Dad's massive body.

"It's good to have her home with us." Clay said giving his brother a look that read more than just what he said. There was a power that came with the statement 'Founding Nine'. There was power that went with her presence and she didn't even know it. Having her here was Clay's way of adding credit to his interrogation, shoving something to feel guilty about in their faces if they were hiding something. Betraying a brother was the ultimate crime in the MC. Endangering the life of a family member was second close especially when it was a girl whose father had died, a father who had started the damn MC in the first place. The Tacoma President acknowledged that and suggested they go into Church. Clay gave the boys a little bit longer and released Emily who went back to command the bar.

Around three a.m. they came filing out with grins and claps on the back. Emily had fallen asleep behind the bar. Her head resting on the bar, a beer in front of her, Clay noticed it and was struck with how young she looked. And it was funny to him when he saw her passed out, even though it was cleary her it looked just…she looked a bit like her Dad. But more like the little girl that slept on the couch while her Dad was in church as a kid. Goliath never saw why a little girl shouldn't be in the Clubhouse.

He motioned for them the brothers to settle down and ordered a Prospect to carry her back to carry the dorms. But when one of them went to pick her up she groggily swung the bottle at him and broke it over his head. Emily was so out of it that she went back to sleep but the rest of the room laughed until Clay shushed them and Jax went over with Chibs and picked her up. This time she didn't swing or even wake up. They carried her sleeping body to Jax's room and laid her on the bed.

"Should we take her clothes off brother?" Chibs wondered.

"If we want our dicks chopped off." Jax said, smoothing back her hair with a smirk. Emily kicked instinctively and they both exchanged looks lined with sadness. Her protective instincts were comical but also sad, reminding them of what had made her that way. Her father would have never wanted that and the Emily they had remembered from years past hadn't been so guarded.

"Is it bad that I want the bastard to come after her so I can cut his throat out?" Chibs asked as they closed the door quietly.

"No, have the same thoughts myself brother." Jax said clapping his hand on Chibs back.

Emily was deeply sleeping and slept until the next morning. When she woke, she felt heavy and sluggish. Disorientated she pushed herself up and looked around realizing she had never gotten home. The smell of smoke, booze, and other things that she didn't want to think of surrounded her and the stale after-taste of beer was in her mouth. Emily dragged herself off the bed and was heading to the bathroom when a head poked in.

"Morning, sweetheart." Gemma said walking in with a bag. "Brought you some clothes and stuff to freshen up with. Bobby's got the coffee on and I got the girls on making breakfast."

Emily gratefully grabbed the bag and went to the adjoining bathroom and freshened up. She slipped on a fresh pair of black panties and bra. Gemma had packed her a white tank top and her favorite jeans.

She was in desperate need for coffee. Emily half-slept-walked out into the hallway. She had to step over passed out club members and crow-eaters on the way to the coffee.

"Hey sleepin' beauty." Bobby said to her. He looked like death, a few cigarette butts were stuck in his beard and he reeked of booze and pot. He poured her a cup of joe "Cream, sugar?"

"Both." She said softly. "I don't even remember drinking last night."

"You were asleep when we got out of church." He replied. "Clay told a Prospect to carry you back but you broke a beer bottle over his head. And that still didn't wake you up so Jax and Chibs put you to bed."

Emily gulped her coffee and stared at him with bewilderment. Then foggily recalled that yes, she did have a vivid dream involving a beer bottle. But she had thought it was a dream, and that Jason was grabbing her.

"Oops." She sipped her coffee innocently. "I must've thought the Prospect was my Ex."

"You didn't clock Jax. You have good instincts. That's a good thing." He replied patting her on the shoulder and swaying a bit. "I-I'm just gonna go pass out on this sweetbutt over here. She looks like a soft land…"

Emily shook her head and watched as he did just that. She quick stepped and sat on the counter greedily drinking her coffee and helping herself to several cups as she watched the clubhouse come to life and thought about last night. She was damn right relieved that it was done, that it was over.

"Can I get some coffee, doll?" A Tacoma brother she recognized as Kozik asked. He used to be Charming Charter when she was a teenager. She grabbed a cup and poured him his coffee.

"Cream or sugar?" She asked.

"Just black." Koz replied. Emily passed it to him.

"Sorry to hear about your ex-husband." He said sincerely though the visible pain of a hang-over. "Anything I can do, you just let me know."

"Thanks." Emily said smiling gratefully.

Kozik nodded. "I mean it, too. Anything at all. You just give me a call and I'll come down."

"She don't want your lame ass help, dumbass." Tig rasped out, sitting up from his comatose state on the bar.

"I am Switzerland." She said raising her hand, noticing the animosity between the two quickly. "I am Switzerland!"

Kozik laughed and she winked at him.

"You too look pretty cozy." Tig jeered. "Too bad Koz can't stay cuz he can't be patched into the Charter. You two might have been a good couple."

Kozik scowled and shoved Tig off the bar. The two scuffled and fell on top of the pool table where Happy and his sweetbutts were passed out. Emily watched them with amusement as the men pounded each other out and woke everybody else up. She put on another pot of coffee and waited as more orders for coffee came in.

She served the brothers and called for breakfast. When the fresh wave of sweetbutts rolled in with breakfast the Club perked up. Emily ended up eating her scrambled eggs and bacon sandwiched between a bloodied Kozik and a laughing Piney. Emily looked around her and smiled to herself. She was eating breakfast next to a man who was bleeding and had been privy to a secret meeting the night before. The woman was literally surrounded by felons and dangerous criminals but it was home. To some she wasn't much more than a pussy and to so some she was family. It was a dangerous line but she didn't care. This was home, this was SAMCRO.


	4. Chapter 4

Don't own SoA. Never have, never will.

Chapter 4

"I'll meet you at the Clubhous." Gemma said to her surrogate daughter. "We'll have the Prospects take the last of your boxes over."

Emily's house was finally done. She had had the kitchen and the bathrooms re-done, carpeting replaced, fixed the porch, and well…had redone the entire house. It had taken a couple of months with the connections that the Sons pulled and the money she was willing to put up for it. Moving day landed on Juice's birthday. Gemma was helping her pack then heading out to the Clubhouse for the festivities.

Emily sighed a little sad to leave their home. She had grown accustomed to waking up to Gemma's coffee and Clay's good morning hug. It made her feel a little closer to her father that way. Gemma kissed her on the cheek and headed off for the clubhouse leaving Emily with two very enamored Prospects. The Prospects had fallen head over heels in love with her, it was quite cute, and the brunt of much teasing. If Emily wanted a drink, they tripped over themselves to get it for her, a door opened, one of them got socked while the other got it for her.

"Don't worry Emily." They chimed with grins. "We'll help ya unpack."

"Don't worry about it." She waved her hand at them. "The Club will need ya tonight. Go help them get set up. I got this."

She let them unload the boxes into the house and watched from the doorway as they rode away waving at her. A smirk spread across her face, a knowing smirk that had rubbed off on her from Gemma. Emily certainly didn't mind the attention those two gave her.

The house that she had grown up in was different, far different but still felt like home. She walked through it and traced her fingers over the walls absently. SAMCRO had placed a "Property of SAMCRO" Flag in her yard and had reaper artwork on her walls. Pictures that she had never seen before of her and her Dad were on the wall and a copy of his mug-shot hung in her kitchen. It was such a far, far cry from her old kitchen with Justin. It had been pristinely white and emotionless. There was so much emotion in her home. It was lines with memories and scars from the past and hopes for the future. She was moving forward and it had never felt better.

Emily unpacked her things into her room and was done before she thought she would be. Juice's party would have started by now she surmised. Her cell phone blasted with calls from Gemma and texts from various members and crow-eaters telling her to get her ass over to the clubhouse. She took a shower and did her hair, pulled on a snug pair of jeans and a cropped black leather halter-top. Emily pulled on black knee high spiked leather boots with silver rhinestones up the side and matching bangles. She loved how they jangled as she moved. Hell, she loved how sexy she felt.

The woman picked up her phone and texted Gemma that she was leaving. She grabbed her purse and checked her pocket for her lucky pocketknife out of habit. The night air hit her, kissing her face and brushing her hair as she walked out of her house and to her car. A level of comfort had settled into her mind, into her body.

So…she didn't notice that there was a couple of shadows lingering around her house or that there were soft crunching of footsteps behind her. Until it was too later. The sound of a branch breaking struck her ears and Emily grabbed her pocketknife, flipping it out and whirled around and struck. She struck a large man in the arm. Hot blood spurted out onto her clothing and she felt the crunch of it sliding into his arm like it was slow motion.

Emily withdrew and began to run. Her palms hit her car and she scrambled for her keys. Iron strong arms yanked her back and clamped around her waist. She felt the world move backwards as she was dragged as she clawed and fought from the car into her house.

Raw animalistic screams ripped from her throat but no one heard. Hands gripped her curves and ran down her body with perverted pleasure. Emily thrashed violently and viciously swung out, clawing out with her nails, grabbing what she could. Yanking hair, biting, scratching with so much force that it was like a hurricane but was…not strong enough.

Survival ran deep in her blood and she refused to be put down.

They swung out at her, taking turns using their greater strength and pushing her down.

"Your husband wants you to know that he wants you back." One of them said with a scratchy voice as they knocked her around, fracturing her body like it was a plaything for them to toss around. "You have one month after this to come back to him. He'll be in contact."

"Fuck you." Emily choked out, blood spilling out of her mouth as she spoke. The salty liquid ran down her throat and she coughed it up and spat on the floor. Vomit boiled in her stomach and she wretched on the floor, heaving her aching body as tears scorched down her cheeks.

The one she had stabbed kicked her down and taunted her with words as she slipped into unconsciousness. They waited to make sure she was still alive and left her there. Emily's body was splayed on the floor, her arm at awkward angle and blood soaking into her new carpet.

A few feet away in her yard, her phone rang out in angry chirps.

And continued to chirp. She didn't stir.

Xxxx

"She isn't answering her phone." Gemma said to Clay. "She was supposed to be here an hour ago."

Clay took a swig of his beer and shrugged. "Probably got caught up unpacking."

"She wouldn't miss this." Gemma reasoned, getting worried. She looked out at the rowdy crowd. Jax was taking on Happy in the ring, both getting smashed and bloody. Emily wouldn't miss this, not a birthday party. "The Prospects said she was on her way and a couple of hours I got a text saying she was out the door."

Clay eyed his wife and saw genuine worry. He didn't think there was anything was wrong but there was always accidents. Even if there was an accident, they'd know by now. "I'll have one of the guys go over there and check on her."

"Good." Gemma said.

He looked at the Prospects and saw that they were way too smashed to ride. Shaking his head he motioned over Tig. "Emily isn't here yet, Gemma's getting worried."

"I'll ride by see what's keeping her." Tig said, downing a shot and gripping Clay's shoulder.

Tig rode out to Emily's without much on his mind. He sure liked having Emily around. She was a sweet thing to look at. He always liked 'em Latina. But that Latina was a natural blonde, a sweet honey. A sweet honey they couldn't push up on. It left them more than frustrated but it was a respect. They weren't going to disrespect her, she was getting over that bastard of a ex.

Kozik had stuck around and was patched in as Nomad now. He moved into Charming, the tension between Tacoma and the mother charter had ceased but Koz had sided clearly by transferring nomad. Which meant he all but joined the Charming charter. Not that he would. Tig wouldn't vote him in, not at all. He noticed though, that Kozik and Emily had become chummy. If that went through he'd be force-handed by Clay to patch him into Charming. Clay wouldn't want his goddaughter's Old Man unprotected on the road.

He was thinking that when he rolled into front yard. His eyes adjusted to the dim night and from the bright porch light he noticed a few things at once. The door was wide open, her purse was laying on the ground by her car, and a plant had been knocked over on her porch.

"Shit." He cursed drawing his piece and running into the house. "Em!"

Tig ran full force into the house, breaking down the screen door and crashing it to the ground. He pointed his gun ready to shoot but all he found was a crumpled bleeding woman. Emily was crumpled in a fragile heap on the floor. Her things had been knocked down and blood was smeared on the floor.

Tig's guts cletched and his heart froze. He knelt down and touched her with fear. Her body was so still, Tig couldn't tell if it was breathing. His lungs worked when she shuddered under his soft careful touch. He rolled her over and took in the damage. Rage filled him when her brown eyes opened, one of them swollen shut. Her right half of her face was smashed to bits, bloody and swollen. Her arm was at a awkward angle. Terror was in her eyes at first, when she opened them.

"Hey, hey." He crooned softly picking her up and holding her. "It's just Tig, it's just me sweetheart."

The terror left her eyes and she let them drift shut, her mouth moved and she heaved raspy coughs as she tried to speak.

Tig tried to calm her down as he grabbed his phone from his back pocket and called Clay. No one was answering. Tig debated whether to take her to the hospital or take her to the clubhouse. The doctor was at the clubhouse, he reasoned. He picked her trembling body up and wrapped her in his cut and a blanket he saw on the couch. Tig cradled in his arms, with tenderness he only showed Gemma or a dog.

He carried her outside and picked up her purse. He got her inside her car and peeled out of the yard. Technically, he didn't have his license and so he shouldn't be speeding but at this point, he didn't really care. Tig raced to the Clubhouse.

When he got in he smacked the horn all the way in until he parked. He grabbed her up in his arms and carried her out of the car, as a crowd of people surrounded him.

"CLAY!" He yelled.

Sweetbutts and hangarounds were shoved out of the way as Gemma, Clay and other members gathered around the site of Tig holding a battered crumpled form of Emily.

"Oh my God." Gemma said, running over and cupping Emily's battered face in her hands. "Tara!"

Emily was taken into the clubhouse and the party was pronounced over. People scattered quickly and the Club gathered in the club as Tara took charge, ordering Tig to put her down on the couch. She was examined right there, her mind so far gone that she didn't realize she was being stripped down in front of them. Chibs and Tara wrapped her up, binding her bruises ribcages and setting her arm.

"We're going to need to get her to a clinic for x-rays." Tara said to them. "I know of a Clinic in Lodi. They can do it and keep it quiet, if that's what needs to happen."

"Do we know who did this?" Clay asked Tig who shook his head.

"I got there, found her on the floor. I didn't see anyone." Tig supplied.

Emily's felt the presence of everyone around her, along with pain that seemed to come from inside of her. She tried to move, but every time she did it hurt worse. When she was able to open her eyes she saw cuts milling about in a group, huddled together and tried to sit up. Tara took notice and tried to stop her but Emily was already swinging her stiff legs over so she could sit up right.

She gritted her teeth and forced back tears and pitiful whimpers as the pain vibrated in her skin. Jax nodded towards her and they stood around her, having a hard time watching her. It was taking their medicine, forcing themselves to watch the examination and knowing that it was on them.

"Sweetheart, try not to move." Gemma said sitting next to her and putting her arms around her. Clay pulled up a chair and sat next to them. His eyes full of pain as he saw the close up damaged to her swollen up face.

"Emily, honey. When you can talk, the Club needs to know what happened." He said gently. Emily nodded.

"W-water." She croaked out, trying to get her voice to work.

Bobby shoved the Prospects who scrambled to go get it for her. Jax grabbed the glass and gave it Emily, helping her wrap her hands around it. She gulped it down slowly and eventually found her voice.

"I was going out to come to the party. I was getting to my car when I heard footsteps behind me. My pocketknife..I flipped it out and I stabbed the guy behind me. There were two. It got one in the arm. I tried to run but they grabbed me and dragged me back to the house. They beat me up. Before I went unconscious I was told that Jason wants me back…said that I have one month to go back to him and that he'll be in contact…then the guy who I stabbed made sure I was out for the count."

A rumble of cusses and threats rolled off the Club and into the air. Clay shook his head, hanging his head down.

"I'm sorry sweetheart." He apologized. "This won't happen again."She nodded slowly, words failing her, and he leaned over and kissed her forehead and smoothed her hair. Clay stood up and motioned everyone to the other room. They followed suit quietly.

Tara helped her into a easy-back chair and Gemma got her coffee.

"You need to stay awake for a while." She explained, handing her some meds to shove down her throat.

Emily looked at her friend from her eye that she could see out of and they exchanged a long tender look. Tara compassionately knelt down and kissed her on the cheek and held her close and gently. "SAMCRO will make this right." Tara whispered hoarsely.

"Damn straight." Gemma sounded bringing them coffee. "Goddamn fucker is gonna get his balls chopped off and delivered to you in a gift bag, baby."

Despite the trauma that had occurred, and the seriousness in the air the women found themselves laughing to each other. SAMCRO would make that bastard pay, and knowing the Club, that's exactly how it would go down. Gift bag included in that order.


	5. Chapter 5

Sons of Anarchy doesn't belong to me and I don't get anything off of this except my own personal pleasure. I'm not Kurt or FX or whatever had the balls to create SoA. Reviews would be great :)

Chapter 5

"CUT HIS FUCKING HEAD OFF!." Tig yelled, slamming his fist down on the table. The image that he has seen when he found Emily was burning him from the inside out.

"We gotta find out who did the attack." Jax reasoned, through gritted teeth. "Then we go kill."

The reasoning and logic mixed with the pure primal instinct to fucking kill. The Club was beyond murderous rage, they wanted this to be good. To be final, to be just, to be damn good. SAMCRO had one of their own's ORPHANED daughter be beat up in their own town. There was no way that this was going to go down peacefully.

"I've already got a call from Tacoma, they heard the news." Kozik informed, his jaw clenched. "They want to help bring blood out of this fucker."

"Words going to get out, a few nomads were at the party." Bobby shared. "Charters all around are going to want this settled. Goliath was loved by all, man. And everyone knows how much he cared about his little girl."

"We push that then, and find out who attacked her. Juice – find out everything about her Ex. Find out where he is. What connections he has, if any. I want everything."

"Done." Juice sounded.

"We should keep her here, she'll be safe in the clubhouse. Or move into her house."

"Keep her here for now, if it gets drawn out we'll put moved her back to her house with patches as her roomies. Patches on Emily at all times, she does not leave this Clubhouse without an escort."

The hammer was slammed down and they scattered.

"How's she doing?" Jax asked Tara, eyeing the awake yet groggy Emily on the chair.

The others stood behind her, a little afraid of going near the battered woman.

"She needs to stay awake. And tomorrow, first thing I need to take her to that clinic…it's the same clinic I pushed the 'scripts to." Tara informed.

"Done." Jax said, kissing his Old Lady. "If you can leave her, we should go home and get some rest. It's going to be a busy next few days."

"I can." Tara said. "But keep her awake. She can't sleep until tomorrow evening."

"Don't worry, Doc. We got this." Tig drawled, his blue eyes still heavy with the image of Emily broken on the ground.

Gemma and Tara went home with Clay escorting them.

"Hey beautiful." Jax said softly. Emily groaned and asked for whiskey. A bottle was procured and she swung it back making them grin grimly.

"Got a t-shirt I could borrow?" She asked, not wanting to stay in the leather halter that she had been wearing. It was blood covered and uncomfortable. Jax nodded a yes and helped her up.

"Not sure my feet are going to work." Emily informed him.

"No problem, darlin'." He picked her up bridal style and carried her to the dorms. For a moment, she buried her head in his cut and could imagine that he was her Dad. She felt safe with Jax. Always had, always would. Jax carried her easily into his old dorm room and a SAMCRO shirt was procured and a pair of boxers. The Prospects had trailed with eager helpfulness reeking off them.

"Jax, your gonna have to help me." She said, taking another swig of the whiskey. Every time she moved she was in pain.

Jax nodded and went to help her when he noticed the Prospects watching with wide eyes.

"Get lost, douches." He ordered.

They scrambled out of the room. Jax helped pull off the halter top and her jeans. Emily was beyond the emotion of embarrassment. Her body was painted with bruises that made Jax's blood coil. Tara had done a good job of clean up but there was still some dried blood on her shoulder that marred her bruised but-still pretty olive skin.

Jax wrapped her in a blanket and went to the bathroom. He wet a towel and brought it back out and wiped it gently off. He felt like scum. Emily had come back to them and asked for help, and for protection. They didn't want the drama so they said they wait. Well, they got exactly what they waited for …didn't they? Jax felt sick, and he knew he was personally going to chop this bastard's ball off. Jax helped her get into the shirt and get the boxers up over her bruised ass.

"I'd let you rest but Tara says you have to stay awake." He said, picking her back up and carrying her to the main room. Emily was tucked back onto the chair like she was a fragile doll.

"Go home" She told Jax and Opie, both of them were hovering over her when they should have been at home with their old ladies. "Kiss your kids, your women, etc." Emily waved them off, feeling a little woozy from the whiskey.

They kissed her and ordered the others to keep her awake. The hours got into the wee time of the morning leaving Emily in the care of two passed out Prospects and various Sons. The hard alcohol took away her pain along with the meds. Feeling exposed though, was not going away. She felt raw and open for all to see. Emily had a burning anger in her. It was bleeding inside of her, it was a internal injury that refused to be healed or covered by scar tissue. It was what was going to get her through this, that was what she knew. But she also knew that it was going to take her from the inside out and change her. She was being indefinitely and undefinably altered. She got strong when she came home and now that strength was tested. And she didn't like to be tested.

Emily stood up from her perch on the easy-back chair and walked slowly to the kitchen for more coffee. Okay, maybe the alcohol didn't take all the pain away….

Kozik walked in sleepily and saw the woman walk slowly. "Hey, hey." He said putting his arm around her waist and guiding her to a chair. "Don't push yourself, sweetheart. What do you need? I'll get it for you."

"More coffee. Gotta stay up until Tara comes for me tomorrow." She replied softly. Koz nodded and brought her more coffee. His eyes studied her sadly. He hated seeing her like this, she and him had really hit it off. It was hard, hitting it off with her. She was hands-down the most beautiful woman he had ever seen but there was no way he could disrespect her by pushing up on her.

Emily sipped the bitter brew and wondered what the other man was thinking. She liked him, he was kind and respectful. Which was something that was hard to come by in the MC life. SAMCRO was respectful and treated her great. They were family. But Koz was different. He was like Jax, kind and respectful without the leering. It was comfortable around Koz.

"Where's your head at?" She asked softly. He looked at her startled and surprised.

"Shouldn't I be asking you that?" Kozik replied gruffly.

"Ma ybe, but I don't think you want to hear." She replied gripping her cup a little tighter.

"Try me." He stated, cocking his head to the side with a listening look in his eyes.

"I want Jason's balls. I'm angry and I want him to pay for this. But most of all, I want it to stop. I thought it had, I..thought it was over." She confessed, feeling better as the words passed her lips. "When I was with him, I just…lost myself. The past few months, I've gotten me back. And now he's back, trying to take those pieces away…and I'm so angry, and I hate him for this, and I hate myself for even getting with him. When I graduated college I should've dumped his ass and come home. But…I thought…I could build a life outside of SAMCRO. Turns out I'm only me when I'm home. When I'm with my family.."

Koz listened intently as Emily confessed the inner workings of her thoughts, her reaction to the attack. Her words were soft but fervent against the silent backdrop of the Clubhouse. He was a man of action, a man that was at his best when he was pummeling someone. But, this time he sat and listened knowing it was the only thing he could do that that moment to make it better.

"We love you." He told her, grasping her hand and squeezing softly. "And we're going to cut this bastard's balls off and make him regret he ever touched you."

They sat in the quiet early morning hours together trading words but mostly being quiet. Emily's face looked better, but still brutal when the others woke up thanks to Kozik getting her a icepack to put on it. Most of it was just swelling and she found that she was able see out of it.

She washed herself up, and got the rest of the blood out of her honey hair. Emily felt sore all over and exhausted to the point where she just couldn't think. But Doc has said no sleeping, so she pushed herself to stay awake. What she hated was the look in the eyes of the Club when they saw her work her away around the clubhouse. There was a guilt that was going to eat them raw if they didn't make it right, she knew that her father's memory hung thick and all-consuming in their heads.

It did her too.

Emily found her father's mug-shot on the wall and placed her hand on it looking it for several minutes without looking away. Memories of him and her childhood wafting through her mind. Tig walked past her and noticed her staring at it.

"Times like these, make ya miss your parents." He said coming up behind her.

"This is going to sound childish." Emily said softly. "But I really want my Daddy." He voice broke at the end, but she refused to cry. The longing for her father, to have a big safe bear hug was so strong..she could taste it.

"I know, sweetheart." Tig said, kissing her forehead. "We'll make it right."

That was the promise. That was the threat.


	6. Chapter 6

A/N I don't own SoA. Damn straight I wish I did.

Warning: Happy Lemon in this chapter! :)

Chapter 6

Juice didn't find much on Jason that Emily didn't already know. She knew it all, from his Social to his Mother's maiden name and how many stitches he got when he was a kid and fell off of his bike. It was information that burned in her brain, all of the matter that had been wasted on him made her sick. She wanted him purged from her system. Emily wanted him gone.

The Club was working on that. But in the mean time she wasn't allowed anywhere without a patch outside of Teller-Morrow. Even if she was with Gemma or packing heat. Arguing only made Clay angry and that was something no one wanted. They got used to her being around late at night, and those who lived in the Clubhouse got used to her in the mornings. She took residence in Jax's room and took to cooking breakfast. It was a little hard for them, though, to see her waltzing around in t-shirts and underwear. Emily decided she didn't care what they thought or what they saw because what did it matter? They had seen it all and this was supposed to be her home for the time being.

"I can't do it." Tig moaned to Happy and Piney. "She's so fucking hot. I get a hard on every time I see her in the morning in that SAMCRO t-shirt….God I just want bury my balls in that sweet…"

"Hey." Piney said gruffly. "Keep it in your pants. She's family, a daughter to us."

"Not a daughter." Tig said weakly. "Not a daughter."

He shook his head and groaned as she walked past and patted him on the shoulder. Thankfully she was wearing jeans and a tank, not a robe or that blasted SAMCRO t-shirt she slept in.

"Can I get you all something?" Emily asked completely oblivious to what they had been talking about.

"Beer would be great." Piney rasped adjusting his tubing. She got it immediately and brought it back to him, cracking it on the bar and setting it in front of him. Emily looked ready to run or do something crazy. Her eyes darted from one place to the other and she kept running her hand through her already crazy hair making it stick out of her head. Stir-crazy would be the right term.

Happy noticed the look that haunted her features and felt bad for her. And for Tig who had looked cock-blocked all day.

"Why don't I take you on a ride?" He suggested.

The woman agreed quickly. Happy led her out of the Clubhouse and handed her a helmet. Clay watched them from a distance, watching as Emily got on Happy's bike and they rode out. Gemma stood behind him watching the same sight, a knowing smirk gracing her face.

"She's been living in that clubhouse all week." He commented, as he thought of the expressions that had plagued his brothers faces all week. "Do I have to be concerned about pussy-drama?"

Gemma shook her head at her husband. "Emily's had the boys scratching their balls since she came back, baby. You sure as hell do have pussy-drama headin your way."

Clay shook his head wondering how he'd pull the Club out of a dick war. Clay loved Emily but he sure didn't want his brother's fighting over pussy. That shit would tear them apart. If she was a crow-eater he'd just fix it by threatening to ban her or something. But, Emily wasn't a crow-eater and she wasn't an Old Lady. It was damn complicated and he could see the damage that shit could cause coming a mile away.

"Talk to her, see where her head is at." He ordered his wife gruffly.

"Right now, her head is getting clear of her ex. You get her clear of that, then I'll talk to her." Gemma replied walking away. Her own mind was spinning with ways to do damage control, with thoughts in regards on how this would end up for Emily.

Emily held tight to Happy's lean body as he sped down Charming's main street. He rode true out of Charming and onto the Highway to Lodi. She wasn't sure where they were going but she didn't care. Emily loved riding, just as much as SAMCRO did. The feeling was liberating. The wind stroked her hair and her face and she felt the worries and stress ease off of her.

Hap eased into an exit to a park and stopped in a secluded shaded spot. The sun kissed their bodies and a breeze echoed around them. There wasn't anyone around it was just the two of them. It was blissfully abandoned and quiet. It resonated in Emily giving her relief and helping her

"Figured you could use some space." He explained. "You've been cooped up at the Clubhouse for all damn week."

She smiled and kissed him on the cheek in gratitude.

"Thanks Happy." Emily said smiling and looking around, it was a different spot but it was the same park that her Daddy would take her to when she was a little girl. "It's beautiful, I remember my Dad used to take me here."

"I know." He rasped out lighting a smoke. "He used to talk about you all the damn time."

She walked in the grass and kicked off her boots, letting the grass tickle her bare feet. Happy watched silently as Emily stretched and lay down on the grass with a dramatic sigh. He hadn't seen her this relaxed since the attack. It was good. Emily's wounds had healed a lot in the past week. She could see out of her eye, the dark brown orbs were visible now. Happy smoked and let her have her moments in silence, not wanting to disturb her well-deserved peace.

They went back after a couple of hours of walking around and talking a little. It was exactly what she needed. When they rode back, she was smiling and laughing. Clay saw them and grumbled to himself.

"JUICE! FIND JASON!" He yelled throwing a wrench at the man. Juice scrambled up and went to his laptop, rubbing his arm where the tool had stalked into the Clubhouse and saw Emily sitting by a staring Tig. And two enamored Prospects. That was it. Clay couldn't take this anymore. It ahd been like this for days now. He decided that she moving home. Clay went and found his wife in her office.

"Which ones should I send to live with her?" Clay demanded. "I can't take anymore of this estrogen in my Clubhouse, it's bad for club morale."

"You mean you see shit going to hit the fan." She smirked, shaking her head. "I wouldn't know how to send with her but I think she gets along with Koz and with Happy. Both would be good at protecting."

"So be it."

Clay walked out of the office briskly and ordered Emily to pack her shit.

"Happy and Koz are living with you until this shit blows over." He explained roughly. The two brothers stiffened and exchanged glances. "If that's okay with you two…do I need to ask?"

"We'll keep her safe, don't worry about it." Koz promised.

"No worries, bro." Happy sounded.

Emily leapt up and kissed Clay on the cheek. "I'll go pack now!"

She didn't think about sharing her house with two men, Emily just focused on the fact that she was going home. She packed her things in record time, apparently packing had become a habit for her, and fled her adopted room with a grin. She loved the clubhouse, loved SAMCRO, but it was getting on her last nerves living there. It had only been a week and she was tired of being leered at, tired of hearing noises all the time, and damn ready to sleep in her own bed.

"Ready?" She grinned at Koz and Happy who had packed their bags and were loading their bikes.

"Yea." They answered.

Emily cranked the music up as she drove home. Koz and Happy trailed her to her house. It was a sold three-bedroom cabin with a large porch. There was a huge tree with a swing and plenty of space for parking. Her Dad had built a huge work shed and a garage for his bikes. His tools were still there. Emily parked and let her assigned patches get off their rides and get their shit before she showed them their rooms and settled into her own bedroom.

"I guess, I gotta fix ya supper." She told the men after a while. "What do you like to eat?"

"I gotta get back to the clubhouse." Koz said. "But Hap is going to stay with you."

He kissed her on forehead and headed out leaving her with Happy.

"I'm up for pizza." She stated. "What about you?"

"Sure."

xxxxxxx

Emily ordered pizza and brought Happy a beer. He had found his way to the living room and was adjusting to the big screen TV that was there. He hadn't ever crashed there before, never once when her Old Man was alive. If any of the Club knew what a sweet set up it was here, they'd be crawling all over.

"Not as exciting as the Clubhouse." Emily admitted sitting next to him on the couch.

Happy looked at the woman next to him and smirked. "Not that bad of a view."

Emily eyed the man next to her and sighed to herself. He was a good looking man and it had been a very long time since she had had decent sex. It had been the last thing on her mind for a very long time. Sex with Jason had been sweet and good at first and then stale and cold. Apparently, she thought, her body had decided that enough was enough. Sitting next to Happy had started to become increasingly…frustrating for the woman. There was a reason why Happy had sweetbutts hanging around him, he was a bit of a legend. He had a primal energy about him that made a woman want to get on her hands and knees and beg. Not that Emily would ever beg for a man. But…just the same the longing to scratch that age-old itch rose up in her and she bit her lip, wondering if she should…if she even could.

"Like what you see?" Em tossed back to Happy, hoping he would take the hint.

"Always have." The man replied taking a swig of beer and pulling her on his lap. Happy set his beer down and she wrapped her arms around his neck with a smile.

"Is that so?" She grinned, trailing her fingers down his neck.

He pressed his lips onto hers, biting her lip and grabbing her ass. She moaned and pressed herself up on him eagerly. Happy liked her in his arms, he enjoyed the feel of her body.

"It's been a long time." She confessed in a husky voice. "Too long."

Emily straddled his waist and he rubbed his hands up and down her body, squeezing her tits. Electricity pumped through them and they tangled up together. He stood them up to take to the bedroom, she teased him by nibbling on his ear lobes and whispering things into his ears. Happy growled and slammed her into the wall and bit her neck in frustration.

His cock was rock hard and she rubbed her pussy against it. Emily was throbbing for him and all Happy wanted to do was to get inside of her. She yanked her top off and snapped off her bra. Happy bucked underneath her and buried his face in her tits. Biting and nipping her nipples as she gripped his shoulder with her hands and squeezed his hips with legs Emily whimpered.

"Fuck." She breathed. "God, Happy. Fuck me."

Happy bit down hard on her nipple, bruising it and sending fire through her body.

"Shit." She cried out, her pussy soaking through her jeans and making her head spin. He took them to the nearest bedroom, which was his and tossed her on the bed. He yanked his pants off and freed his hard sprung cock. Emily shoved her jeans off and kicked off her boots across the room. The boot knocked over a lamp but she didn't care.

He leapt over her, like a panther, and guided his cock over her wet swollen pussy lips. Shots of fire pummeled through her, just from that bare contact, and Emily's mind spun out. She yanked him down and hitched her legs over his hips, arching into him eagerly and hungry for the release.

Happy shoved himself into her and groaned. Her pussy quivered around him, eager for the attention. He started hard, pounding deep and long and hard into her, slamming over and over. Their bodies worked hard against and with each other, moving across the bed until they were both on the edge and half way on the damn floor. Skin slapped against skin. They're joining bodies filled the air with sweat and heat.

Emily clawed his back, raking his nails down his back and drawing blood out of his inked back. This was not sweet sex or casual fucking…this was pure primal mating. The kind that curdles the blood and skims fickly into the dark side. They didn't care, they didn't care about anything but release.

Happy felt her walls quiver violently and pushed harder, his balls slapping against her pussy as he pummeled. She reached down and stroked her swollen clit, sending herself over the edge. Emily clenched around his cock.

"HAPPY!" She screamed as he pounded through her brutally powerful orgasm and came hot and heavy inside. Emily was out of the world, riding so high that she didn't know which was up or sideways. Happy collapsed on top of her, and they splayed across the bed without a care.

Just…free falling.

"That…was amazing." She rasped out. "I needed that…so bad." Emily laughed exhaustedly underneath his body.

"Pussy wanted it." Happy replied. "It wanted it bad. No wonder you've been stressed."

"Feel free to distress me anytime." She quipped trying to get her legs to move but finding that there was no feeling in them. They stayed in bed for an hour. When the pizza came she still couldn't move so he brought it back to the bed.

"Koz will be back soon." Happy rasped out tossing the pizza box on the floor. He eyed Emily, with her messed up hair and her post-sex glow and felt his cock stir again. Her body was amazing. And eager to squeeze in all the right places. Emily pouted and flopped her head down, exposing her breasts to him. God, was she trying to kill him?

"I think that it's a good idea if we keep this to ourselves." She sighed but saying the words carefully. You never ask a son to keep something from his brothers…. "Clay and Piney like to think I'm a virgin."

Happy laughed, that was for sure. "So does Jax and Opie." He returned, noticing how carefully she looked at him. "Don't worry, I won't tell the King and Prince how much of a wild cat their girl is."

She ran her fingertips over the claw marks she had put on his back and shook her head. Emily figured she had been possessed by something, to do that. It had been a long time seen she had felt so completely sated and relaxed. How…raw she had acted…was new to her. She had never gone after sex that hard before. Emily had released so hard before either, as she thought about it.

"Thank you." Emily softly said rolling over the bed and grabbing her clothes. He pulled on his pants and grabbed his smokes giving her a pleased grin.

"Anytime."

Emily went to bed early, feeling purely exhausted. She didn't realize that Kozik had gone back to the clubhouse to seek out Clay for a specific reason. Or that Jason was lurking around the corner of her life, waiting and ready to strike. All she knew was that the first time in a long time, she felt safe and relaxed and...good. Emily felt really good. Despite everything, she was going to be good.


	7. Chapter 7

I don't own SoA. And reviews are great, I love the feedback.

Chapter 7

The heaviness of the responsibility of keeping Emily safe was a strong one, on the backs of Happy and Kozik. Both had built their own ties to her. Both killers had forged their own bonds with the woman that they had been tasked to protect and neither one of them knew exactly what that meant for each other. Not to mention she was a responsibility for the Club just being in Charming. It was the Club's responsibility to honor their fallen brother's memory by taking care of her.

The actual protecting was the easy part, Emily made it easy, she didn't try to fight them on their decisions or try to second guess them. They both had heard legendary tales of horror from Tig about Gemma and had been prepared for the same. No…Emily behaved to their relief. Emily respected them and what they had to do and they respected her and the way she went about her life.

It was a sweet deal for both of them. They got home cooked meals, a clean house, and a quiet place to watch TV and drink a beer in peace. A month passed and they fell into a comfortable pattern. Emily enjoyed having them near and not having to live in the clubhouse was a plus.

Happy spent about every other night secretly with Emily. Both had quickly synced into a habit of 'destressing' when they could. The sex was amazing and they both didn't feel the need for more. Which settled nicely on Emily's mind. She loved the way he made her feel, but she not ready to love a man.

Not with Jason looming over her life like he was.

Kozik knew that, he knew she wasn't ready for loving another man. Emily had gotten in his blood in a crazy way that he couldn't shake. Ever since he had seen behind that bar that night…her hair shining and her body moving gracefully as she served up whiskey and beers with a sweet smile on her face…it had put him in a tizzy. And her voice, her big brown eyes listening to every word he said. Emily heard him, it wasn't an act. She was the real deal. It all was tying him to her in ways that he wasn't going to fight. She was something he had never known he wanted. Kozik had always been satisfied with the life he had. He loved the MC, he loved the free pussy that came with it, and he loved his brothers. That was and had always been it for him. But when he saw Emily he started wanting things that he hadn't ever pictured himself wanting. Seeing himself in places years from now he figured he'd never have.

When she had been attacked, when Tig…of all brothers…had brought her into the Clubhouse crumpled, bleeding, and broken….it was indescribable how full of rage he had been. Koz had literally gone out of the clubhouse and punched a wall completely smashing his hand. His feelings were something that he hid well…what kind of future could he offer her other than as of a friend, as a protector? He was a good friend. Kozik was confident that he could do that. He knew he could be her protector. But Kozik was afraid of what kind of life she would lead as his Old Lady if she took him. He was a Nomad, Tig had blocked him out of SAMCRO. The only choice was to go back to Tacoma and she wouldn't go with him, Charming was her home. It was the place where Emily had come to when she was in danger, the place as she had confessed to him…where she had found herself again. Koz had sought Clay's guidance on it, and Clay had all but told him to knock it off and do what he wanted…shit would work out.

It was Clay's blessing.

But it didn't make Emily anymore clear of this ex husband shit or ready for a Old Man. He had to wait, and waiting wasn't his thing. But for her…he'd wait. She was worth it. Emily had fully gotten into him, into his mind. The thought of Emily, the nearness of her, ate him from the inside out. It was killing him, being so close to her and not touching what he wanted to be his.

Really killing him.

xxxxxxx

Emily shrugged herself out of her clothing and pulled on her favorite t-shirt. Kozik and Happy were in the living room watching a show and throwing shit at the TV yelling. Her house had become a man-cave, she thought ruefully. She pulled on a pair of yoga pants and snuck into the kitchen to grab a tub of ice cream.

"Hey, grab me a beer!" Happy yelled. She sighed and put the ice cream down. Nothing went past Happy she had quickly learned. It was naturally comforting but still extremely annoying. Emily grabbed a couple of beers and brought it out to them.

"Thanks, doll." Koz said, pulling her down next to him on the couch and snaking a comfortable arm around her. "Stay, watch."

"Wrestling isn't my thing." She replied getting up. "Besides, I got a date with my two best guys. Ben and Jerry, they're waiting for me in the kitchen."

Happy cocked his head at her but Koz just grinned and shoved her playfully. She went back inside the kitchen and started in on the delicious cold treat. Her thoughts mingled on her plans for the garden she wanted to plant in the front yard. There was so much space here to work with.

"Ben and Jerry can't get you off like I can." Happy rumbled lowly in her ear, having snuck up on her as she was lost in her plans.

A tremor flittered through her and she shivered with a smile.

"That's the truth." Emily whispered softly.

A evil and playful glint wandered into Happy's eyes and he stepped close, pressing her behind against his crotch.

"Here?" Emily breathed, her eyes hooded with lust.

"No." He smirked. "Go strip. Get in my bed. I'll be there when I feel like it."

She cocked her eyebrows and raised her eyes to his daring him to say _that_ to her again. He backed away with that knowing smirk plastered on his hardened features. Happy met her gaze and kept it.

"I'm no one's bitch." Emily said, slipping her hand underneath his belt and squeezing his cock, feeling it harden in her grasp.

He growled and the smirk faded quickly. Happy backed her up and spoke into her ear.

"You wanna play?"

"You're the one who started it." She returned cattily, loving the way she felt with that power over him.

Happy saw the look in her eyes, that hunger for the conflict that came with going on the dark side. No fear, just dark glittering lust burning in her eyes and glinting in her smile. It was something he could easily provide happily.

No pun intended.

"Go to my bed." He stated, sticking his hand under her waistband and slipping his fingers in her wet heated folds. She was throbbing wet, Happy could feel her pulsing from the inside to find that release.

Emily nodded limply and quietly made her way to his bedroom. Happy grinned and washed his hands and adjusted his jeans. He grabbed his beer and went back to watching wrestling. She stripped just like he said and lay down on his bed, wondering what he would do. They couldn't be loud, Koz was just in the other room. In fact, wouldn't he wonder where they both were? A twisted realization struck her….he meant for her to wait for a while. Despite her annoyance and anger she felt herself become even more turned on. Was this why the sweetbutts were always so eager? That waiting game was a turn on.

She squirmed and covered herself up with a blanket as the air conditioning hit a new wave and breezed over her. Under the comfort of the blanket she waited…and waited until she was drifting in and out of sleep. A roar of a Harley woke her up and Emily started awake.

Happy didn't leave, did he?

Outrage filled her and she started to get up but realized that she was stuck here. If he had been the one to leave then Koz would go looking for her. He'd check her room for and that was next to Happy's. She'd have to wait until he went looking in the backyard to slip out.

And…if it had been Koz..then Happy was on his way.

Well hopefully.

She layed back down and waited until the door opened. Happy smirked as he took in her ruffled sleepy but still lusty look. She was wrapped up in a blanket and her clothes were tossed on the floor by the foot of the bed. He dropped his pants to the floor and she sat forward tossing the blanket aside. Her body was taunt with need, so very visible to him.

But Emily didn't like to be kept waiting. It was the biggest turn on that she had ever had but it was not something she would get used to. She stood up and leapt gracefully off the bed. Her blonde hair was mussed up and stuck all over the place, her pert nipples hardened and red with desire, and her eyes a dark stormy brown framed with an angelic needy. Happy wanted to throw her down and take her right there. But this had too much potential to throw it away on the ground.

"What game you playing at?" She asked huskily.

"A game?" He answered, his rough voice scraping her in all the right places. "I'm playing the game you want the most…" Happy grabbed her and half-forced her on her knees. "Suck it, baby girl." He couldn't and wouldn't call her bitch or whore like he would a crow-eater. That was a line that was visible in whatever they were doing. Like Emily had said before – she was no bitch. Happy was a lot of things but he was not a man who violated a woman's boundaries. His mother raised him better.

Emily moaned and licked her lips. A wicked devilish grin graced her pretty lips and she looked up at him and took him in her mouth, knowing full well that this was an act. Just a game. The game they played. He just took it farther this time, she could play that game too.

Emily took his cock all the way in and tried not to gag but he felt the back of her throat constrict nonetheless. She pumped him with her mouth, dragging her teeth at the tip and caressing her tongue in the places that made him see haze. Happy guided her with his hand and wished he had a camera to snap a picture of the damage she was doing to him.

A few minutes passed and as he was just about ready to spill his load into her mouth Happy pulled out and pulled her to her feet. Emily's lips were swollen and her eyes hooded and dazed. He pushed her back on to the bed and turned her, face down onto the mattress. She raised herself on up on her fours and braced herself.

Happy shoved himself in her and groaned as Emily trembled around his cock. He pounded brutally into her at a rapid bullet-fire pace. Emily began to lose feeling in her legs as she was bombarded with waves of ecstasy and pushed deep into a dark, painfully good release.

Her tits scraped against the bed, her face shoved itself into its softness. Emily bit down and screamed as Happy gave it his everything into fucking her. She was shoved into the release, and free-fell violently tumbling through the first orgasm. He survived the brutal milking of her walls and continued pushing into her, pummeling her pussy until Emily was limp and drugged out with the erotic currency that tied her down.

As she came a second time, he emptied with a roar inside of her. Crashing together they spun out and came back down together. Happy collapsed breathing heavily on top of her back, crushing her to the bed. But she was so out of it that she didn't care.

"That was a good game." She muffled out. Happy flipped over, getting his body off of hers and freeing her. She limply flipped over and took a big shaky breathe. "That was good."

He turned his head and nodded. Something troublesome flickered across his face. "You know this is fucking right?"

"Well, I hope." She laughed, her voice smoky from the after-effects of the orgasms. "If that wasn't fucking, I want to know what is."

"I meant." He said after grinning. "That I don't want no commitment. You're not a whore but…"

"No Old Lady." She finished off sitting up and grabbing her clothes. Emily tossed him a lazy carefree smile. "Hap, don't take this the wrong way. But I wouldn't be your Old Lady…you're not my type to get tied to long term."

Relief hit him, because the threatening thought had loomed so heavily and so quickly. He liked what they had. It was their game, a way to relieve stress and it was a good thing. Happy would admit he cared for Emily. But she wasn't his idea of an old lady. Too much responsibility and despite the way he fucked her, he liked his girls sweet and easy to boss around. She was too much to handle. There was weight in her that had to be handled and he didn't want that kind of responsibility in his bed.

Emily kissed his cheek and went to the kitchen to finish off that ice cream carton she had abandoned earlier. She sat there feeling like the cat that ate the canary and doodled her ideas for the garden on a pad of paper.


	8. Chapter 8

I don't own SoA. Reviews are appreciated. :)

Chapter 8

Emily wiped her brow as sweat trickled down her face. She had been working on her garden all morning and the California sun hadn't been making it easy. She was just about done with her gardenias when she heard the sound of car pull in. She turned around and saw a strange black car in the clearing. Emily stood up and ran inside. Happy and Kozik were far out in the back pulling a tree for her. Before she let herself yell out for them she looked out the window. Emily saw her ex-husband walk up to the door.

He looked different, but just a little. Jason still was the same tall height…with the frame of the football player he had been in college. Big and a bit burly and walking with that 'don't mess with me walk' that had once struck fear in her heart. Now it just made her think he was a poser, nonetheless, just the vision of him walking was scary. Jason's hair was peppered grey and made him look a little more sober. The sight of him made her freeze as she flashed through the times before where he had battered her, shaken her to the core and stripped her from everything that had made her own person.

Rage.

Pure. Red. Rage.

It pumped in her and made her limbs tremble from its sheerness. Her body acted while her mind just zeroed in on her hate.

Her rage.

Her shame.

Her hurt.

Her pain.

Emily grabbed her father's old hunting rifle off the mantle and loaded it quickly. She aimed it at the door, not even thinking about calling for the two men in the backyard. The doorbell rang and she didn't budge. Just yelled at him to get out of here.

"YOU'RE MY WIFE AND YOUR COMING HOME." Jason had roared, pounding on the door.

She cocked the rifle and took aim at the door.

"COME AND GET ME FUCKER." She screamed, the words scraping unapologetic through her throat and ripping into the air like a series of gunshots.

The door busted open and the large frame of her ex-husband came barreling in. She started shooting, not caring about anything but hitting him – stopping him. The two men in the backyard heard the shots and sprinted full force to the house. When they got inside, guns drawn, they saw Emily smashing a bloody man on the floor with a butt of a rifle. Her body taunt and her voice screaming raw animalistic insults at him.

They stopped still in their tracks and for a moment just stared at the sight of a short little woman beating a large man on the ground. Emily was fierce. Her anger was scalding and it was painted on her skin as she moved. It transformed her into a site to be held in legendary reverence. Happy noticed that the man on the ground was quickly bleeding out, a shot had been cleanly aimed at his abdomen. Before they could stop her, Emily had backed up and grabbed a fire-poker that lay propped to the fireplace. She raised it high and then brought it down, skewering the bleeding man's crotch.

The man screamed out in agony and thrashed on the floor trying to get away. Viciousness had over taken her, she pushed it in further and her ex-husband stilled and his eyes began to drift apart, he was a pussy who couldn't handle the pain. Emily stepped back and breathed heavily. Jason was everything that she hated and all that Emily wanted was it to be done. She wanted for it…for him…to be over.

"Emily." Kozik whispered, but the words reaching her ears. "You don't have to do this. We'll take it from here."

The woman looked back at them and her eyes met theirs. Truth rang true in Emily's brown eyes and they saw that she needed to. This was hers to do.

She aimed the rifle one last time.

"Goodbye, Jason." Emily declared evenly.

A loud and final gunshot rang out in the cabin. The broken bloody body of Jason lay dead on the floor, his eyes still open in fear and terror staring blankly at the other three. Emily stumbled back a little, her face a chalky white but strong.

Happy immediately got in his pre-paid and started making the call to Clay. Kozik put down his gun and quickly went over to her.

"Hey, hey." He said softly, his jaw tightened with emotion and pride. "It's done. You stopped him, sweetheart." Kozik pried the rifle out of her hands and laid it down.

Emily's entire body shook, her brown eyes wide. Like a shell-shocked doe caught in the headlights of a truck, she stood frozen yet moving subconsciously. Kozik put his arm around her and pulled her close, speaking softly in her ear he calmed her down.

"You finished him, baby." He crooned. "It's done. Baby, it's done."

"Done." She echoed hollowly as the words

"Done." He said with finality, making her look at him in the eyes. Something clicked in her eyes and her brain stumbled with a realization that got tucked away for her to know later. It was something clear and defined but at that moment, her body was pumped with raw adrenaline. Emily couldn't think or process emotions all she could was just feel Kozik's arm around her and hear his voice speaking and guiding her through the turmoil she had been tossed head first in.

Emily let him take her to the couch and sit her down, wrapping a blanket around her for the shock of it. He got a sheet from the closet and covered the body so the dead bastard's eyes wouldn't scar her for life. The roar of Harley's came out from the distance and before they knew it they were surrounded by SAMCRO. Everyone came in, admiring the damage that Emily had done to the large body covered on the floor. Clay and Jax gazed down at the bloody mess that she had left on the floor, including the fire poke that stuck out of the man's crotch and shook their head with disbelief.

"She…did that?" Clay asked Happy lowly, glancing over at the shell-shocked woman who sat trembling on the couch.

"When we heard came in she already had shot him down on the floor. She skewered him before we could react." He explained with an intense admiration. It had been a beautiful site and he wouldn't trade it for the world. Happy knew that there was a fighter in Emily but he would have never pegged her capable of such vengeful brutality.

"Does it make me a perv that I'm completely turned on right now?" Tig sounded to a disturbed Juice. The younger biker looked at him with an incredulous look.

"Yea, it does." He said shaking his head. "Bro..you're a _freak_."

"Tell me something my Mom didn't tell me growing up." Tig retorted with a grin.

Emily slowly came out of her shock and grabbed Kozik's arm when he tried to stand up. He wrapped his arm around her waist and pressed a comforting kiss on her forehead. Her body had ceased to tremble and she was just so very still.

"We need to get her out of here." Kozik told Clay. Emily tried to speak but no words came out.

"We'll take care of this." Clay told her. "Go with Kozik, no one's going to know what happened here. We got you, sweetheart."

Emily was taken to the clubhouse and away from the gruesome scene in her home on the back of Kozik's bike. Happy had stayed to help with the body. Happy had noticed the two of his 'roomies' and their moments shared. He was reminded of the relief he had felt when they had re-clarified the casualness of their game and realized that his brother had been harboring serious feelings for the woman he had been fucking. Happy focused on the situation that was in front of him but he caught Emily's eyes and they spoke a silent conversation without saying words. Despite the high-rising emotion that broiled inside of Emily, when she caught his eyes and he nodded to her…she knew he was letting her go. Letting her go of any ties that they had forged with their…game.

Koz took her inside the Clubhouse and into his old assigned dorm. It still had his shit in it. Emily curled up on the bed forcing herself to feel her own body. Numbness had crept into her and she didn't like it. She needed to feel this, to know this.

"He's…"

"Dead." Koz finished for her studying her face. She seemed so innocent in the light, curled up in a ball with her brown eyes looking up at him with such a confused expression.

"Dead." She echoed softly and shaking her head. Emily looked at him with questions brimming in her tearless eyes. "I killed him…and I'm not sorry at all."

He knelt in front of her and gripped her face in his palms.

"You did what needed to be done." Koz stated clearly.

Emily leaned forward, drawn to the man in front of her and pressed her forehead against his. Kozik had strength. Strength that spoke to her own and made her feel even stronger. Coming back to SAMCRO had given her the liberty to find herself again, to get un-lost. With Kozik she felt like her foundation had a new layer, like she had more roots digging into the ground of all things that were good inside of her.

It was something she hadn't realized until she looked at his fervent, compassionate eyes when he spoke her out of her shock. Emily was drawn to him. She was drawn to the twin-ness of their strength and minds. Kozik drew a deep steadying breathe as the woman he wanted more than anything pressed her head against his. He clenched his jaw and gripped her arms tight as a spinning heady feeling came over him.

"I won't be able to stop." He said lowly.

"I don't want you too." She breathed, placing her hand on his cheek.

Koz shuddered and tried one last time to resist. "I've…wanted you since I saw you behind that bar. I want you as my Old Lady not just some fuck. This can't be about what happened today. It has..to be real."

He spoke the words that she needed to hear.

Emily said softly. "It's real."

Koz grabbed her, pulling her body as close as he could and kissed her. It shocked even him, how much he felt with just one touch. Everything in him re-wired and was tied all around her. They pressed their lips together, slowly at first, getting used to the emotions that charged between them. Emily moaned softly and uncurled her body. Kozik pulled her close and pushed her back onto the bed, covering her body with his. Emily shuddered quietly against him and wrapped her arms around his tatted neck. Her head felt light as she felt his lips trail down her throat hungrily sucking and nipping.

Emily reached between them and unbuttoned her shirt quickly. Kozik lifted her up and pulled the shirt the rest of the way off, his rough palms found her bra strap and snapped it off. Her breasts sprung out and he pushed her back down onto the bed. Emily looked up at him as he looked at her with a thirsty all-consuming intensity. She could feel his eyes taking in everything about her. Not taking his eyes off of her, leaned down and undid his belt and shoved his pants. She did the same to herself. Both never let their eyes leave each other.

Emily opened herself for him and he swooped down and buried his face in her cleavage. She whimpered as she heard him mutter things into her skin. Tears pricked her eyes and she forced them back. Never had man make her feel so much, and never so much in so little time. Emily parted her legs farther and wrapped them around him, feeling his cock hard against her thigh, and brushed her legs up and down eager to feel Kozik inside of her.

Kozik took his time, craving every detail of her body. But the need got too much and he plunged into her folds with so much force that they both cried out and were left with no air between them. The feeling of her wrapped around him spun his head and he cried out her name. Kozik thrust into her and felt her from the inside out. Under his body she was so soft, so sweet, so strong. He hungered for her body, to hear her cry his name and only his name.

"Fuck." He cursed nonsensically and pounded into her at an increasing pace. She took it all and met him match to match. Their bodies slid together, grasping needful and hard, and took everything that they gave to each other.

"Kozik…" She keened against him, biting down on his tatted shoulder, her hands clawing down the Sons of Anarchy tattoo that inked his skin. Kozik felt her clamp hard around his cock and shuddered, crying out her name over and over as he blew his hard load into her. The feeling of him releasing and crying her name pushed her over the edge again and Emily orgasmed again. Her body felt raw and exposed but so basically safe and cocooned with him around her. Kozik collapsed, his body over hers, pressed his lips against the crook of her neck.

Bone exhaustion seeped into Emily and she struggled to stay awake but couldn't win. Kozik held her and told her to rest, wrapping his arms around her and tucking her into his chest. He cradled her as she fell into sleep. The feeling of her in his arms felt right, it was the truest thing in his life next to the Club. Emily didn't wake up for hours. She was safe, Jason was gone. Her heart was full and now she could move forward. When she had come back she had regained parts of herself that had been stripped away. When she killed Jason she had rooted herself in those pieces and opened herself up. With Kozik…Emily felt like she had come home. And really…come home in his arms.


	9. Chapter 9

A/N I don't own SoA. Please review, I really appreciate the feedback!

Oh side note: I picture Emily as Shakira. Lucky Kozik, right?

Chapter 9

"Was it handled?" Gemma asked her husband as he crawled into bed next to her. Clay rested his grey head on her chest and wrapped his arms around her waist.

"It was. Pulled a few favors with the Chinese. Apparently not only did he like to rough up his women but he liked to gamble. Got himself dumped in a alley."

"So it's done. No investigation? No one knew he was in Charming today?" Gemma asked, her lips pursed with worry.

"Not that we know of." Clay replied, closing his eyes and tightening his hold on his wife. "Oh, it also looks like our girl has got herself a old man in Kozik. They made consummated that union while we were cleaning up the mess."

Gemma grinned. "Good match, he'll be good for her."

Clay opened his eyes and looked at his wife with suspicion. He recognized that smug tone in her voice. She had been up to something.

"What did you do?" He asked gruffly.

"When you asked me who you should send to live with her…I merely gave the suggestion of who I thought Emily would be the best Old Lady to." She replied taking off her reading glasses.

"Are you serious?" He asked. "You sent two of my best men over there expecting a dick war?"

"Well there wasn't any." She retorted. "I had her pegged with Happy but I like her with Koz. He'll take good care of her. You know you're going to have to get Tig to vote Kozik in now, right?"

"Thought for tomorrow." Clay replied leaning up and kissing his wife. "Now, shut up wife and let me fuck you."

xxxxxx

Emily woke up the next day to find that Kozik had pulled her t-shirt on her and tucked her under the covers like she was a child. A note was placed by the pillow, waiting for her, and she shrugged the sleep off and grabbed it up.

_In the shop today. You should rest. Everything was taken care of. Clay will find you and explain. _

_ Love you_

_ Koz_

It was simple and short and yet she pressed it to her heart and then laughed at herself for doing such a mundanely generic thing. What was she? A love struck teenager? Emily wondered at herself, feeling as her heart and mind should be on a table and be dissected to see what was the matter with her. Yes…killing Jason was necessary…but Emily felt absolutely _nothing_ except for relief and satisfaction. She was relieved that it was over and satisfied that he got what he deserved, that he felt the fear that he had inflicted on her. Emily just wanted to bask in her new-found love and truth with Kozik and her thoughts leapt from the fleeting thoughts of worry about the killing to that in quick heartbeats. There was no space for remorse because she had none.

Is that what sociopaths thought like, Emily wondered. Was she a sociopath?

She stumbled out of bed and tripped out into the hallway. The sleep faded off of her and her mind cleared as the thoughts of what had transpired coursed through her brain. Emily took a deep and steady breath and took stock of it all.

She was here.

She was fine.

And she didn't feel shock or worry or pain except for worrying that there was something wrong with her, she felt nothing bad. Emily found her way to the kitchen and grabbed herself a cup of coffee.

One of the Prospects stumbled over with a wide-eyed expression.

"G-good morning. Do you want anything? I could go get you breakfast."

"That's okay." Emily replied. "Thank you."

She went back to the room and pulled on some clothes that had been mysteriously placed on the dresser. Again she stopped herself and took stock.

She was here.

She was fine.

Emily shook herself again and again trying to dig up remorse or anything. It wasn't supposed to be like that. She was supposed to be a mess, a wreck. Emily always imagined that she would be so distraught that she would have to have someone watching her at all times. But no, she was…absolutely fine with what happened.

Sick of herself and her worrying and not-worrying she hurried herself to the garage. Before she could get to the office she heard someone clapping and cheering. Emily turned and saw Tig and Chibs clapping and cheering from the side of the garage.

Tig came up to her with a grin. "That was some pretty good work you did. Nice touch with the fire poker."

Emily stared at him and shook her head dumbly. That was right…they all had seen the remains of her rage filled attack on her ex-husband. Koz walked into the garage and saw his Old Lady looking at leering Tig with a perturbed expression. Emily turned and walked away without saying anything to Tig. Her eyes met his and she smiled with relief at the site of him.

She walked over to him and immediately wrapped her arms around the man. "Hi."

"Sleep well?" He asked, pressing a kiss on her lips. She nodded closing her eyes and kissing him back.

They tangled their lips together, enjoying the feel of each other, and holding each other tight. The garage erupted in catcalls and Kozik flipped the bird at their audience. Emily nuzzled him lazily and rubbed her hands up and down his neck and shoulders, relishing the feeling of safety and leather mixed together. Kozik grinned down at his woman and looped his finger in her belt strap pulling her closer to him and kissed her again. This time he gave his brothers a show, a masculine show of possession. This woman, was all his, and that was for them to see.

Emily let him hoist her around his waist as he tongue-fucked her mouth. Kozik grasped her ass and she giggled as he sat her down on the hood of a car and continued to assault her mouth with his own. A current of sexual energy crackled around them and they dived right into not really caring that there was a whole garage full of people watching them make-out.

"Hey, get a room!" Jax yelled. He had walked into the garage and had been shocked when he saw Kozik tongue-fucking Emily on the hood of a car that was being worked on.

The two parted, just a little breathless, and gave him a grin.

"Pops wants to talk to you." Jax said. "Both of you."

Kozik lifted Emily off of the car.

"Thanks bro." He said, letting Emily kiss Jax on the cheek.

The new couple made their way into office where they found Clay and Gemma waiting for them. With very little detail Clay informed Emily that her ex-husband had been found in a alley of a gambling den in Lodi. He obviously had taken her rejection hard and reverted back to a gambling addiction to cope which didn't end up very well for him, did it?

"You'll probably have a few cops asking questions, baby girl." Gemma said. "But you say that he came and you told him to stay away from you. And then he left."

"Okay." Emily replied taking a deep breath and finding Kozik's hand. He stood up and leaned against her chair, putting his free hand on her shoulder protectively.

"This never blows back on her." He stated looking Clay in the eyes.

"Never."

A silent piece of communication flittered through the two men. Kozik had made Clay swear that if it ever lead back to the Club and someone had to take the fall, it would be him. Not Emily. Everything had been handled perfectly but Kozik couldn't let it go without being said. Emily would never pay for whatever happened, what happened would never touch her, and she certainly wouldn't suffer any consequences. Not his girl.

Emily leaned against Kozik and smiled with relief.

"So it's over?" She stated softly, posing a gentle question.

"It's over." Clay answered nodding with sincerity. Then a grin spread across his face. "And might I add…congratulations. I hear you're Kozik's Old Lady now."

Emily's smile brightened even further and she nodded. "Yes, I'm Kozik's Old Lady."

Hearing the words coming from her mouth, in her own voice, made Kozik feel immeasurably proud. She was beautiful and sweet yet unbelievably unbreakably strong and ferocious. Being with her had been the best moments of his life next to getting patched in. She was the real deal, Emily was his…it. She was it.

"I say that calls for a family dinner." Gemma said smirking triumphantly.

Emily laughed, feeling so very light and carefree. It was finally over and she could let herself go forward and see the future. Everything felt so…

…Right.

Everything felt right.

"That sounds great." She replied. "Supermarket was having a sale on smoked turkey."

Clay and Kozik kissed their respective Old Ladies and went back to work in the shop. Both of them glanced back at the office and watched the two women talking. They're eyes met each others and they smiled, nodding that proud sort of smile that men can have when they know they have a damn good woman in their bed, and comradely clapped each other's back.

"You made a good choice." Clay grinned. "Treat her good. She deserves it."

"Absolutely, brother." Kozik replied.

xxxxxx

SAMCRO filled up Gemma and Clay's house that evening. Everything had down smoothly with Jason and they didn't see any kind of repercussions. Emily sat next to Kozik, crammed next to him, and looked around at the table. Her life.

The way it had suddenly fallen into place settled deep in her mind and she wondered if her Daddy had anything to do with it. It was the thick, sweet, belonging moments that she felt him the most. Emily believed that he was around them and always looking after his girl. She felt the man next to her, and rested her head on his leathered shoulder for a moment. That sweet gesture earned her a kiss on the brow and a whispered 'I love you'. Her heart was so very full. It was as if a brilliant white light had blinded her, settled so quickly, and left everything pristine afterwards. She was where she was supposed to be and Emily could look on and see a whole life ahead of her. A life that she couldn't wait for. The ups and the downs. It was all okay.

"Pass the green beans," Jax asked her giving her a grin. "Firepoke…"

Emily rolled her eyes at him and passed him the green beans. Firepoke caught like a wildfire, even though it only made sense to the club and their Old Ladies. The hangarounds and sweetbutts looked a little confused how that one came about but didn't ask questions. It was one of the many secrets that was held within the club ranks. Emily came off indifferent but that night she begged Kozik never to call her that. He chuckled and laid her down on the bed without another word spoken the rest of the night.


	10. Chapter 10

Don't own SoA. Wish I did.

Chapter 10

The authorities did go ask Emily if she had seen Jason. They approached her at her home the next day. When Emily had returned to her home she had seen that the Club had really cleaned everything up. There was even a rug over the blood stain. It was like it had never happened. But it did, and the authorities grilled her like she was under arrest. Emily kept her cool and answered each question politely while looking them in the eye. She figured it'd be too false if she faked her grief, her husband had been an ass, and she wasn't going to lie about it. They asked her questions for about an hour. Midway through her head started to hurt and Emily just wanted them to get out. But she wasn't sure how to go about this, wasn't she supposed to answer questions in a police station and did she need a lawyer?

_ Yes, he had a gambling problem._

_ Yes he came here and I told him to get lost._

The sound of Kozik's bike echoed into the house and Emily sighed internally relieved. Her eyes trained to the door as she was conversing with the pensively tight-lipped detectives. Kozik's eyes rested on the unfamiliar car in the driveway. He gritted his teeth when he realized that the cops were already questioning Emily. He strode inside the house and shut the door behind him quietly. He cocked his head and listened for a moment at them. They weren't questioning her, they were fucking interrogating her. And she didn't even know better.

Relief filled Emily when she saw Kozik stride with purpose into the room. He looked at the cops with anger brimming in his eyes.

"This is Kozik." She said to the detectives.

Both of the detectives eyed his cut and exchanged silent glances that made Emily feel queasy. She clenched her fists together and stood up to stand beside Kozik.

"We were unaware that your boyfriend was in a outlaw motorcycle gang." The male detective said.

"He's not. They are motorcycle enthusiasts." She replied quickly. "It was a club that my father started with his friends."

They nodded and pretended to believe her even though everyone in the thickly silent room knew that no one was buying that. Kozik wrapped a protective arm around Emily and stared the cops down.

"Are you guys finished, I was hoping to take my girl here out for a ride." He said, a edge in his voice that Emily hadn't heard him use ever. It sent chills up her spine and she held onto him just a little tighter.

"Yes, we'll be in contact Miss Hanning.."  
>"It's McConnel." Emily corrected. "Hanning's was my ex-husband's last name."<p>

"So we are aware." The female returned handing her a card. "Call if you have anything to share."

They followed them to the door and watched as they pulled out of their site. Emily shuddered and sighed. Kozik pulled her into a tight embrace, wrapping his hand in her hair, and cradling her head in his chest gently.

"They got nothing on us, just trying to rattle cages baby." He murmured. Emily nodded but still couldn't shake a bad feeling that seemed to come out of nowhere. It wasn't remorse, it was dread. Dread that something was going to happen to someone she loved. And it coiled in her stomach and made her feel nauseous.

"I love you." She murmured against his cut.

"I love you too." He replied leaning down and kissing her softly. They tangled softly, comforting each other and letting each other know that they were here. That they were real.

Emily grinned suddenly and pulled him out the door.

"What you doin?" Koz asked the smiling woman.

"You said you wanted to take your girl out for a ride." Emily said with a grin. "So let's go."

As Emily straddled the back and wrapped her arms around her man she felt the weight of everything slip away. The smell of smoke and leather and metal sank into her and she breathed it deeply. It being held captive by a familiar lullaby, never ending and always comforting. Stripping away the worry and the anxiety and leaving her feeling fresh and new like the day she was born.

Riding bitch to Kozik wasn't like riding with anyone else. It was different as in Emily felt proud. She didn't just love it…she _belonged _there. That backseat was all hers, that was her ride. That was her place and anyone else who sat there was just a temporary guest. And as she watched Charming pass by her as Kozik rode them out of town she couldn't help but smiling against his leather.

He was so strong and she felt so right.

They rode for a couple of hours ending their impromptu road trip at the clubhouse. Kozik about popped his top when he parked his ride and helped Emily off the back. She had ridden with him before but since they had hitched together it meant a hell of a lot more. She'd be the only woman who belonged behind him, and he was already addicted to the feel of her arms wrapped around him, the feel of her strong legs wrapped around him, her body pressed up against him. She was so soft and small in comparison to him that Kozik couldn't help but feel like he had to go slower, a little more aware of how he rode. But it was worth it, to feel Emily's smile and to hear her sweet voice in his ear telling him to go faster.

Emily grinned at her man and pulled him in for a kiss when they got off his ride.

"Thank you, baby." She murmured into his lips. "That's exactly what I needed."

"Anytime, honey." Kozik returned with a smirk.

She tackled him with a laugh. Jumping on his back and straddling him, he carried her into the clubhouse. They're laughs mingled and their bodies moved together instinctively. Bobby took notice from the garage and laughed.

"Honeymoon phase. Just wait until she starts talking about a ring, that'll snap 'em out of it."

"Naw, I think that's the real deal bro." Jax replied handing his brother a tool. "It better be, we've all seen what Emily will do if ya piss her off."

They chuckled grimly as they remembered..well…the firepoker. It was something that lived in legends in the back of their mind. Brutality that came straight out of what one them would have thought of not her. They certainly didn't want to piss her off. They liked their joints where they were.


	11. Chapter 11

A/N – I don't own SoA, didn't create it. I just play in SoA land for my own fun..and for yours! ;) Reviews are awesome feedback!

Chapter 11

Lyla sighed and rested her head against the seat of her car. Her head hurt and there was serious tension aching in her neck that only came from the stress that she was being put through. She had promised Opie that she wouldn't be in front of the camera. Before they had gotten married she had started to take some director gigs but she was still new at it and no one wanted to give her a proper chance. Opie was taking great care of her and the kids but she hated being a housewife, just an Old Lady. It was in her to be independent. This was what she did, she took care of herself and her kid..now kids. If something happened to Opie, if he had to go away, she would be the one paying the bills. Lyla knew she had to keep her career alive but it was getting harder each day she chose not to be in front of the camera.

She dragged herself out of the car and headed inside of her friends house. Despite the stress she was putting herself in, Lyla couldn't imagine what it would be like to be going through what Emily had gone through. Lyla had had her fair share of assholes who thought beating a woman was going to make her do what they wanted but she had never had to make that hard decision to end them. Emily was a strong woman, it was evident in the way she moved and looked you in the eye with a rawness that was undefinable, but Lyla read her face and saw gentleness and a ability to love. It didn't hurt that Emily didn't judge her about being a porn star. Emily had invited her over for lunch to ease the tension off of both of them.

"Hey, babe." Emily said handing her spiked lemonade.

"Hey." Lyla sounded.

The two visited enjoying each other's company. Talked about kids, their men, their lives. Words mingled with laughs and both women felt the stress of their..well…stress slip away for just a few moments.

"How's directing going?" Emily asked as she showed Lyla her garden. Lyla shrugged and shook her head.

"It's not. It's hard to break into that part of the business." She replied. "I've pretty much kicked myself out of the in-front-camera end and now I'm sort of at a loss."

Emily nodded and frowned. She couldn't blame Opie for wanting Lyla out of the camera range but what did he expect? What was she going to do if he went back inside? She furrowed her brows and hugged her friend. The weight of the MC life punished the women first in many ways that the Sons just didn't understand until it was too late.

"Have you thought about taking over Cara-Cara?" She asked softly. "I know the Club have been hiring out."

"I can't take on that kind of responsibility. Cara-Cara is pretty much dead in the industry." Lyla replied sitting down on a chair and sighing once again. The lines on her face visible in the light that usually left her looking youthful.

"What about you?" Emily sounded sitting next to her friend. "What do you want?"

"I don't know..when I started I didn't have any aspirations. God, when I was a kid I wanted have my own saloon. I grew up in New York and my Ma had friends who worked at the Coyote Ugly bar there." Lyla confessed soflty grinning at the memories.

"Coyote Ugly in Charming…" Emily drawled, taking a sip of her lemonade. "That would be a interesting site."

The sound of a motorcycle took them out of the garden and into the front yard. Jax and Tara met them in front.

"Hey." Lyla and Emily said to their friends.

A troubled serious look flickered on Jax's face that made Emily stop short.

"What's going on?" She asked sharply, her voice biting in the quiet country air.

"There was an altercation." Jax supplied, shaking his head. "Found the guys who attacked you. Koz went off on them and cops got called in."

"Oh my God." Emily felt the blood drain from her face. "Is he being charged?"

"Naw, we've convinced the one witness that he was attacked. Self defense." Jax assured, putting his hand on her shoulder and squeezing softly. "But he won't be home with you tonight, you're going to have to pick him up tomorrow morning."

"Okay." Emily replied, her voice scratching hoarsely against her throat as her mind wrapped around the facts and the relief. Kozik was fine, he was going to be fine. "Thank you, Jax."

"You can expect a phone call from Ma, she'll want you over for supper with and Pops tonight to keep ya company." He grinned.

Emily nodded, a ghost of a smirk echoing in her features. It was only one night but it was her _first_ night without her old man in bed with her.

xxxxxxxx

Sure as rain in April Gemma gave Emily a ring inviting her over for dinner. Emily had not a clue that they were going after the attackers and had any lead. Kozik hadn't told her _anything_. And after the shock of the news wilted away she found that it grated on her. It really grated on her nerves the not-knowing. Why didn't he call her? Why didn't anyone tell her that they were looking for those attackers? She pushed the thoughts out of her mind and went over to the King and Queen's house. She expected to have the family there but found that it was just the three of them…and Gemma's beloved parrot. Gemma studied her with a perceptive eye, noticing the slight shadows that lingered under her eyes, the way she moved just a little tighter and jerkier, and how Emily seemed to speak a little stronger yet softer. It was Gemma's ulterior motive to scope out her head, to make sure that it was standing strong in the foundation that she was born on, and what she saw was not very disturbing.

It was plain as day that Emily was pissed off at her man for not telling her what was going on.

"You didn't know they were going after the attackers." Gemma said abruptly cutting into what was bothering Emily as they washed dishes.

Emily looked at her mother-figure startled for a moment and nodded. "I guess I should have known…makes sense. But Kozik didn't say anything."

It bit inside of her, the not knowing, and it was going to burn inside of her.

"I'll tell you what I tell every damn old lady that comes into the Club." Gemma stated, lighting her smoke. "The only way this works if you know nothing or everything. And you darlin' have SAMCRO in your blood. There is no way in hell you're going to be able to work things out permanently with Kozik if you don't know everything."

Relief shuddered inside of Emily relieving the biting feeling of resentment and anger that had grown.

"I can't lie. I'm pissed off." Emily returned, grabbing a smoke offered to her and lighting up. "I'm not just some civilian he picked up off the streets. And I sure as hell had a right to know that the Club had leads on my attackers. I _was _the one that was attacked."

"Don't tell me that, tell your man that." Gemma told the younger woman.

Emily went to bed that night, missing Kozik, and thinking over and over in her head what she and Gemma had talked of. It was like it was biting from the inside, the alarm, the shock, she was angry. But it was so much more than that. Emily could feel a tide that was building and could crash on her if she didn't stop it. Why didn't she know? She knew she had to get answers and she had to lay it down straight.

Frustrated she punched her pillow and threw it across the room. Huffing she slid off her bed and made herself some coffee and resigned to herself that she was not going to get sleep anytime soon. Emily took her cup outside and sat in her garden mulling over everything in her head. Her head just wouldn't shut up and so she trailed into sleep thinking of a million different things. Emily woke up at the sound of a bird chirping, her neck stiff and her body feeling coiled tight. Stuttering out of her slumber she got out of the chair and went back inside.

She got ready for the day, feeling better, and went to the police station to pick up Kozik. Emily wasn't prepared for him to have a bashed in eye and blood still dried on his hands. He walked strongly towards her but her heart still skipped a beat.

"Oh my God." She said, holding his head in her hand, examining his eye.

"I'm fine, baby." Kozik said, his lips finding hers. He just cared about seeing her, feeling her body wrapped around him, knowing that she was waiting for him. It was only for one night but it was the threat that yes, maybe this would happen again, and next time it could be for longer. It made him want to burn something, to destroy, just thinking that he could be taken from her.

Despite the emotional turmoil she had been shoved into the past twenty four hours Emily kissed him back eagerly. They pressed together and shoved their tongues together, passionately reacquainting themselves. She waited for something to break inside of her, telling to be angry at him, but she couldn't. Not when he was drinking her in like she was his last shot of vodka.

"Let's get your ass home and cleaned up." She murmured pulling him to the car.

She took him home and got out the first aid kit. There wasn't much damage, just a few cuts on his face and his fists. The biting feeling came back and Emily cleaned him up quietly. The short jerkiness of her movements and her silence tipped off Kozik that the grace he had gotten when she picked him up was short-living.

"You got a problem?" He asked gruffly, not liking the silence she was throwing at him.

"Why didn't you tell me the Club was going after the attackers? That you had a lead?" Emily bit out.

"Is that why you're mad?" He replied, completely incredulous. In his life, before her, he had never shared information like that to any of his women. Kozik distantly realized that he probably should have told her because it was her attackers, but he didn't fully realize that she was mad that she wasn't in the loop completely. That he was the type of man who wanted to shut her out and not fully disclose.

"I had a right to know." She forced out through gritted teeth, her eyes sparkling with the biting emotion that brimmed from her insides.

Kozik shrugged, not fully realizing that she was damn near ready to blow, and said. "I guess, yea, I should have told you. Now you do."

Emily snapped her head up and stared him down. Their eyes met and he saw the anger inside of her. Kozik stood up fully, having no idea what she wanted.

"I said I was sorry, babe, what else do you want?" He asked, the confusion tearing up his words.

"I'm mad that you didn't tell me. I have a right to know when I'm in danger of having Jax come to my house and tell me that you've been hauled to jail." Emily explained, her words even and steady.

Kozik took a deep breath as he understood exactly what she was saying.

Emily wanted him to disclose. And not just disclose, he saw it on her face, she wanted it all.

"I can't do that." He replied, feeling no guilt in what he said. There was this primal need to protect her, to shield her from what could bring her down. The club shit could bring her out of this life she was building, that she deserved. Emily was the sort of woman who deserved a safe and solid life. It was something he couldn't provide if she knew everything, if she was on the inside circle of the club business.

"Are you serious?" Emily tore out shrilly. She stepped back shaking her head and ran her hands through her hair. Tempers flared between both of them and they stared at each other for a few very tense thickly silent moments. They warily studied each other as if measuring up an opponent.

"I don't want you to be linked to anything that I do or that SAMCRO does." Kozik said, taking the plunge. There was this wall inside of him that wouldn't let him put her in any danger. It was against all of his nature.

"I won't accept that." Emily replied. "I'm not the kind of woman that can be content with not-knowing, Kozik. You knew that. God, what…do you think I can't handle it?"

"I don't want you linked to anything criminal." He yelled. He slammed his battered hand on the table in frustration. No other woman would question him like this, it was clawing at him her. The _one_ person he needed to protect the most was the one person who was shoving herself into harm's way. Emily couldn't help it with her ex, that shit started before they had even met, but this was different. This was now. Kozik had Emily now and that was all he needed to justify his urge to shield and protect her.

"I KILLED MY HUSBAND. I CAN'T GET ANYMORE CRIMINAL THAN THAT!" She cried out, waving her arms out like a wild woman. Emily's eyes brimmed with righteous angry tears but she refused to let them fall. Her throat burned at her frustration and she shrieked. Kozik was reminded of the scene that he had seen when he found her stranding over her ex-husband with the rifle. Strength and the curse to be able to sleep at night after committing brutality radiating from her. She was that kind of woman. The kind of woman that could know and stand by him, to love him even more. He loved Emily. Kozik was addicted to her…the way she laughed, the way she touched, the way she fought. But it killed him to think that she would know everything that he did and that he would do. He had never disclosed to anyone outside of his brothers before. And it killed him. It killed him that she was demanding this. Full disclosure meant that he had to open it all for her, risk that part of him showing, and linked her to things that would put in harm's danger in more ways than either of them would know. That's the way that shit worked, no matter what shit hit the fan and when it did...things happened that no one would have thought of.

"I can't believe you." She uttered softly, hurt radiating in her eyes. "You don't trust me…"

Pain shot through him and he advanced closer to her at the clear pain that scratched her normally silky voice. But Emily had seen it. She saw how distrust and panic had flittered through his features. Kozik didn't trust, he didn't want to trust her. And it burned her more than her anger had. It scorched her heart.

"I just…need to wrap my head around this. I've never done full disclosure before, babe." He said, his voice husky with emotion. Koz grabbed her arms and pulled her to his chest and forced her to look at him. "I can't put you in danger. If you know everything then you're linked. My only way to protect you is giving you deniability…but…" He pressed his forehead to hers and groaned, fighting with himself, wanting to give her what she wanted…wanting to protect her…. "If…that's what you need. I'll give it to you."

"Don't force yourself to." She murmured bitterly. "If you don't trust me…"

Kozik shoved his lips on hers, kissing her ferociously, and wrapped his arms around her closing her to his body. He pulled away and framed Emily's face with his hands. His eyes studied hers with intent and honesty ringing true in his gaze.

"I trust you." He said. "Don't ever doubt that."

She nodded her head but barely could because he had such a firm grasp on her. Kozik kissed her again only this time slower and sweeter. Emily parted her lips and let his tongue sweep over hers. They tangled together and slowly became more passionate in their embrace. He ran his hands down her back and gripped her to him so that she couldn't move even if she had wanted to. Kozik turned them around and hoisted her onto the table. Emily fumbled her arms and hands while they attacked each other and shoved the things on the table to the ground.

"You wet for me baby?" He growled against her lips. Emily whimpered and clamped her legs around him. They made quick work of their clothes, both too eager for each other to be concerned about anything but, and melded together like iron and ice. Kozik pounded in her like she was nothing but a pussy but they both knew…they both knew that everything about them was far more than just sex or labels or their family. They were irreparably linked together, connected in their minds, and they couldn't stop what they had started if they had wanted to. Both were so drugged out on each other, there was no turning back now. They were willing addicts.


	12. Chapter 12

I don't own SoA, I just play with it.

Chapter 12

Emily watched with bemusement as Bobby took a shot off of a crow-eaters belly and shook her head. It was a typical Saturday night at the clubhouse. She sat on Kozik's lap as he played poker with Tig, Happy, and some of the hang-a-rounds. His hand kept wandering down below, running up and down her thigh, and whispering stuff in her ears.

"Keep this up and you'll be losing this game, mister." She murmured back into his ear.

"Aw, Jesus Christ. When the fuck is your honeymoon phase gonna be over?" Tig drawled out. "Plain ass nasty watching you two all up on each other. You're worse than Clay and Gemma."

"Shut the fuck up, jerkwad." Kozik replied. "You're turn."

She murmured into his ear and watched dutifully as he played his game. Feeling bored she whispered into his ear that she was going to catch up with Lyla and moved away from the table. She saw Lyla standing with Tara and Gemma by the bar and walked over there.

"I can't believe it went down that way." Tara shook her head. "Can they really get away with that?"

Emily startled , stepped close to them, "What's wrong?"

Gemma took a drink of her beer and shook her head. "Club was raided this morning on some phony tip about drugs."

Alarm filled her and she shook her head. "I didn't know, what…how?"

"Kozik didn't tell you?" Lyla said innocently.

"No." She replied to her friend throwing a look at her man.

"That's how he got that rough eye." Gemma supplied giving her a sympathetically knowing look. Emily shook her head and slammed her hand down angrily. She took a breath…and then another.

"I can't believe he didn't tell me." She gritted out.

"No truth, no pussy." Tara wisely advised. "Someone once told me that." She threw a glance at a smirking Gemma. Any other time, in another circumstance, Emily would have laughed with them. But she was burning a little too hard inside to form a smile or laugh. What else had Kozik neglected to tell her, how far would she have to go to get him to realize that she needed to know this shit?

"Can I borrow you're car?" She asked Gemma. "I'm going home."

"Sure thing." Gemma replied shaking her head.

Lyla watched as Emily and Tara walked with Gemma and bit her lip anxiously. Her mind went back to a long ago morning when Tara stormed into the clubhouse and found Jax with another woman. She had felt immensely guilty, the other woman being a former friend, and she didn't want to see her friend go through that. It wasn't hard to see how passionate Kozik was about Emily but in such a new relationship and…she made up her mind. She quickly went over to Kozik and told him softly that Emily was leaving the party. He didn't even ask why, just got up quickly from his seat and near sprinted out of the clubhouse.

Kozik was playing with his brothers, enjoying the feeling of her woman wrapped up in his lap, and drinking his beer. It was the kind of moment he wanted to last forever. His brothers, his woman, a good beer. Emily's body was soft and warm and her lips enticing as she spoke in his ear. But her mind had wandered and he let her go catch up with the other old ladies. It wasn't a few minutes when Opie's Old Lady had come up to him and said softly that Emily had gotten upset and was leaving the party.

He didn't ask or even say anything back to the woman. Kozik just tore out of the clubhouse with a brimming burning inside of him. Why the hell was Emily upset? It was a damn good night and someone or something had upset it…upset his woman. And Kozik wasn't going to let it end like this. He saw her fumbling with key's to Gemma's car and Gemma and Tara walking away from the car and staring at him. Gemma gave him a frown and shook her head, as if to say "You're in deep, shithead."

Emily almost died, her heart literally skipping a beat, when she was whirled around and faced with a angry Kozik. "What the hell happened?" He demanded. "Lyla said you were upset."

"Yea." She retorted. "Feel free to sleep here tonight."

Emily tried to turn around but Kozik gripped her arms and refused to let her turn.

"What the hell is the matter with you, woman?" He forced out angrily. Insanity was crawling from inside of him, begging like a bitch to get out, and all Kozik could do was to grip her tight and force words out of his mouth.

"When were you going to tell me about the raid?" Emily confessed, her eyes shining with her own anger, and her face set like stone. "I had to hear from three other Old Ladies, one of them doesn't even have full disclosure with her man, that there was a raid for narcotics this morning!"

"That's what that is about?"

That shit had almost been forgotten in his head. All he wanted to do was to forget the heavy club shit and enjoy his night. God…he just wanted to be buried inside of her..not fighting over stupid shit.

"God, what the fuck?" He grounded out.

"No truth, no pussy." Emily declared yanking herself out of his grasp and opening her door.

"Fine." Kozik said, "There was a raid. It wasn't a big deal. They were just trying to get under our skin, happy?"

"Is there any truth to their suspicion?" She asked with command.

He shook his head no but she wondered bitterly if he was telling her the truth. She shook her head and ran her hand through her hair feeling like she was getting unwound and undone and this was spinning her head in all the wrong directions. Emily needed the damn truth, she had to have it, it would drive her out of this reality if she didn't. Trust wasn't an issue with her, she'd lay down and let herself get stabbed over and over if that's what SAMCRO needed, and she was spun out from the lack of it coming at her from Kozik.

"Go back to the party." She said, her voice hollowly scratchy.

Kozik was incredulous, he just didn't understand her. How the hell could he love a woman that drove him so damn out of his logic? He grabbed her and grasped her head in his hand. His mind was racing, his breath just a little short for his liking, and his body felt like it was going to burn from the inside out with the frustration he was feeling. Pressing his lips on hers, he consumed her, kissing Emily desperate for her to understand. She shuddered underneath his mouth and gripped his shoulders with cat-like claws.

"I hate this." She said shoving him back, as the overwhelming feeling passed, and she was left with a small grasp of reasoning power. "You just…drive me insane!"

It meant so much to her, her SAMCRO ties, but he didn't see it. He treated her like she was some woman he bumped into at the market or at a wedding. But he didn't. God, he knew her when she was a fucking teenager. Her father had fucking taught him what being in SAMCRO meant and was. What did he think? That she'd stand by the side like a good little woman and not ask questions? Not worry? Not want to kiss him and tell him that he was a good man when he had to do something that ate him up?

It beat the living reason out of her.

"I can't believe you." He spat, the boiling tight sensation of frustration coiling in his chest until all he could do was shove his mouth onto hers and hope to hell she'd understand that all he ever wanted was to give her a good life.

Emily gasped as Kozik grasped her and shoved his mouth onto hers with a power that seemed undefined. She lost the last grasp of reason she had and kissed back, using every piece of her anger and hurt, and let him have it all. Their bodies somehow managed to fumble into the back of the clubhouse and into a vacant room.

She bit his ear lobe and clawed at his cut. Not caring or thinking at all. Just...raw emotion…seeping out of her. Kozik shoved them onto a surface, they'd wake up later and find that it was a dresser, and pulled down her panties and pulled out his cock. Everything inside of him burned. Everything inside of Emily was boiling. Together they made a slow fusion, melting and burning into each other, getting into each other's skin. They stripped down everything and nothing was and again they went at it, not even registering in their brains that there were people outside of their unlocked room, and again and again. Just pushing themselves to the limit because their words had failed them.

The next morning they woke up on the floor, tangled together, and looked at each other. Something had fallen during the night. Parts of them had been skinned and burned and now they were left with the aftermath. Both stuttered with their words like a child until they're lips met again. But this time, a sweet and long kiss, and then there were no more words. Just exploration of their fusion.


	13. Chapter 13

A/N – I don't own SoA. Reviews are great :)

Chapter 13

Emily stood in the abandoned bar and shook her head at her blatant luck. Who would have thought that the Hairy Dog would go under? It was a little known fact that the Harry, the proprieter, was a heavy gambler. When he kicked it his yuppie kids were forced to sell. Emily had jumped at the chance She hadn't even told Lyla yet, Lyla being the inspiration for her decision, and Kozik didn't quite know either.

Frowning she eyed a picture of Hitler on the wall. She briskly walked over to it and yanked it down. Disgusted Emily looked around and saw various neo-Nazi symbolism hidden amongst the interior. She yanked them down and piled them up high in the dumpster. There was a definite need for a interior re-haul. The Nords were old news but they still haunted the establishment. Well, no more, and that was that in her head. Emily envisioned this small establishment to be exactly what Lyla had shared with her. Only on a smaller scale and she had yet to come up with a name.

Gemma came into the closed down Hairy Dog wondering why the hell Emily had her coming here to this Nazi safe-house when she the woman turning on the jukebox and dancing around with a big excited grin painted on her face. Emily stopped short and noticed Gemma standing and staring at her with a confused smirk.

"Welcome to my Saloon." She drawled hopping on the pool table and grinning.

"You bought this shit-dump?" Gemma doled out unimpressed and a little concerned at Emily's decision making.

"Yea. I need a project and Lyla needs a steady job." She supplied. "I want to re-do it. Make it accessible to the masses of Charming. No more fucking Nazi shit. If you gotta a ID and money in the bank to quench that thirst, then you're welcome to get drunk here." Emily winked and laughed feeling incredibly excited.

"Does Kozik know?" Gemm asked.

"Not yet, I texted him." She replied, she wondered in the back of her mind if he'd mind, but she dismissed it. It had happened so quickly. "So what do you think?"

"I think you've lost your mind." Gemma said with a smile. "But that's what'll make this shit work."

"Exactly."

They turned up the music and started to clean immediately. Emily didn't want to wait and Gemma started to get a little excited for her.

"The papers all through, baby?" She asked.

"Yea, I've just got to have Lyla sign some shit." Emily replied. "She's gonna be partner."

"Awful nice of you. She'll be good at this, she needs something out of the pussy-eating business."

Lyla came to the bar with the same trepidation as Gemma but was surprised when she was met with the site of Gemma, Emily, and Bobby's sister Dora cleaning up the abandoned Nazi-bar.

"Hey partner!" Emily cheered bouncing over to her with papers and a pen. "Welcome to our Saloon."

Shock wrote itself over on Lyla's face and she was silent for a long moment trying to get her stuttering brain into working order. Emily filled her on the details and Lyla couldn't believe it. It had been years since she had ever thought she'd be out of the porn business. But here it was, her childhood dream, waiting and ready for her. She signed the papers immediately and called Opie with such excitement that he couldn't understand her for a full five minutes.

"Hey Koz," Opie went up to Kozik. "You know our Old Ladies just bought the Hairy Dog?"

Kozik dropped his tools and rolled out from underneath the station-wagon he was looking at and stared at the other club member.

"You serious?"

"Yea, Emily bought it and made Lyla her partner." Was his reply from the surprised Opie. "Apparently it happened today. They're over there with Gemma and Bobby's sister."

Both of them shook their heads as the other guys chuckled. The image of the small group of SAMCRO women running a bar was a interesting prospect in their heads. Whatever they did, it would be a experience, and Kozik grabbed his break. He called his Old Lady but she didn't answer the phone.

Things had tempered with them. Much to the amusement of their family it seemed like their honeymoon phase was over. They were calmer, quieter, and more in-time with each other. They still held fast to each other but it was like they moved with each other and not at each other. Full disclosure was still difficult for him to manage but they worked at it, the violent heat of their anger had dissipated, and they melded together in a healthier way.

He was surprised, though, that she had made this rash decision without him. Kozik didn't want to be mad about it, it seemed fruitless, but if he was expected full disclosure then that went both ways. He got on his bike and rode out of Teller-Morrow heading towards the former Hairy-Dog with a strong feeling that they might have their second fight.

It's hard to argue with someone when you find them dancing around with four other women in the middle of a bar – especially when the two of the other women were former porn stars – and it was harder when that said person came at you and straddled you.

"Guess what?" She said excitedly, her eyes bright and happy. There was a glow he had yet to see in them lighting in her eyes. Her eyes looked like they had fireflies within their depths and Kozik was mesmerized. Just when he thought he had seen her all, she showed another depth, and it drove him crazy.

"What?" He asked with a grin.

"I bought this place, me and Lyla are going to run it together." She said, kissing him with enthusiasm. Emily showed him the place like he had never been inside. Lyla pointed out where they wanted the stripper poles and the excitement that radiated off the two women was contagious.

"Well alright.." He said shaking his head. "It'll be good."

Emily and Lyla spent all night cleaning the bar, making plans, and dreaming. The name of the bar was yet to be decided but they didn't care. Opie and Kozik were delegated back to the Clubhouse and to their respective homes because the two women were lost in their own plans and excitement. It was more than just the excitement and the future of it, it meant to the women, that they had something of their own. Something that they could control in a world that SAMCRO controlled everything. They couldn't really have a say in what SAMCRO did, and while they loved and were unfailingly loyal to their family, it was good…it was relieving…to have something just for themselves.


End file.
